Dream of Seeing and Talking to Ghost

Every night I am dreaming, I used to journal my dreams but the procrastinated me is so lazy to do it and there are times I forgot what was my dream all about when I wake up or after hour passed. My dream last night was so vivid, saw myself talking to a young female ghost and asking her so many questions. Then a group of men wearing white took me and while walking away from the ghost I am talking with I saw a feet of a man wearing white trousers beside her, I am not able to see his face because I didn’t look up… along the way I saw many ghost, then I don’t know how my dream hop in to different place, the people who took me brought me in front of a house which looks more of a villa and then my dream went to different scenario.

Image result for ghost

What is weird, on my dream I am not scared seeing ghost around me while in real life I am scared of them. It reminds me what happened a few weeks ago. It was evening and as I went out the door of our old house to go to the store, in my peripheral vision I saw a person in my left side leaning towards our old house, I saw his eyes looking at me and since I am not expecting that there was a person in that dark corner I cried out in surprised and as I look back to say a word, nobody was there, I am all alone… there was no person in there, it was just a motor bike which is fully covered with coat.

My aunt who owns the store, heard me and asked me what had happened to me because she heard me scream in fear and shocked, so I told her what I saw.

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When It Rains, It Pours – Sickness, Pain and Sadness

When it rains, it pours. This saying isn’t new, lot of things happens within the clan in a week, it wasn’t that long when my blood rise to the roof and then one of my older aunt had a high blood attack just a week ago, she almost didn’t make it if she didn’t crawled to their porch to call for help. The first relatives who help says my aunt was already icy cold and her blood pressure is soaring to the roof that cause her headache and tremendous vomiting. When I went to their house, she was not in good shape anymore she looked very helpless and very sick, they were getting ready bringing her to the hospital after long deliberation with my aunt. It turns out she doesn’t want to be brought in the hospital and just cried silently but since she is too weak she was rushed to the hospital right away where she was confined for a few days.

Not long after, another aunt had a high blood attack I have heard of it after my cousin’s wife bought an ice pack, I went to my aunt house which is just beside us, she is lying on their sofa chair with leaves on her temples. I have ask what happened then a cousin informed that our aunt had a high blood attack and there isn’t medicine for first aid, upon knowing what medicine they need I immediately went home, there are some aspirin in our home, they were one of my mother’s maintenance medicine but since she developed rashes while taking them she stopped taking those medicines.

plant, rain, waterdrops

[Photo courtesy of unsplash.com/pexels.com]

A younger cousin is set to wed in a few a months but it looks there is a chance it won’t take place because of unforeseen issues that will affect a lifetime.

Anyway, today a very sad news came. A younger pregnant cousin who married a few months ago had an ultrasound done in town and they have found out the baby in her belly has no heartbeat anymore… I don’t know much details since it just happened a little while this afternoon but as what I have heard she will be brought to the hospital before we went to town to shop.

Well, while I am creating this blog post I am hearing some yelling and glasses being thrown and broken into pieces, it looks like a neighboring couple was having a couple fight… ahm dunno…

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Rice Harvesting and Threshing in the Neighborhood

It is time of the year where farmers have to harvest their crops, most crops around the neighborhood were harvested and threshed this week,  it was my family’s term in the small rice field my grandmother owns or maybe it is more appropriate to say tenanting.  My family’s term take place every three years since an irrigation was made to help farmers plant their crops.

My father was at work when a cousin came by into our house asking for sacks, it turns out my father’s crops will be harvested today after the group of people done harvesting my cousin family’s crops, instead of the next day like it was planned. My sister was just scheduled to buy the sacks today, so we immediately texted her to bring the sacks to our father and asked him to go home and work only half day. We are caught by surprised because we are not told the change of schedule, we just found that the rice stalks were already cut and collected when we look in the field.


Well, my father went home with the sacks but he has to return to work since he has to work to do and can’t be continued the next day. He asked a female older cousin who is already in the field (with her husband and father) looking after their own crops to hold the sacks for the harvester and look after the sacks of grains, she can do it because she is accustomed with the field work and the harvesters, my father can’t asked me since he knew I can’t do it without scratching all over and I have anti-social issue eh, I went to the field to bring the plastic ties for the sacks and went back again after the workers asked for cold water, I brought a pitcher and set of bread with the help of my mother but since she can’t go to the field with her condition she remain in the street. I wasn’t happy doing those things because the weather isn’t good, it was scorching hot and the field isn’t friendly.  Yes, I have complained since I believed it should be my father doing this, he should be the one looking at the harvester and the grains since he knew how the entire process worked.

Anyway, to cut the story short we yield thirteen sacks of rice grains but only get eleven and half after the harvester took their share, only half of the field was harvested because the other half was still unripe, the unripe part was eaten by worms previously and since the rice stalks have to regrow they are not able to grow at the same rate on the uneaten part of the field.  We have to pay for the harvester to carry the sacks of grains home and  my cousin who look after them.


When my father came home I have told him that next time (harvest time) he must not go to work so he can look after the harvester because I can’t do it since it is a man’s job and I have not accustomed with field work since it was only this late we started planting crops and I am too weak to do it because of the pain in my chest, yeah we do field work in school but it was just an hour or two. As expected I developed itchy rashes on my legs, they were too itchy that I can’t stop scratching until it bleeds but what is pain in the ass was  I got a muscle cramps on my right arm that I can’t carry things or move my arm freely without agonizing in pain, dunno if it is from my chest issue or I twitched a muscle since it was a bit swollen when I wake up in the morning.

Anyway, the grains we yielded will be a great help to my family. We will not be buying rice for time being which is good because my sister will be jobless again, her work will end this October because the girlfriend of the owner’s brother will work in the water station so the couple could save money for their wedding next year.

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Headache and Vomiting: High Blood Pressure Attack

It was been almost a month since my last update on this blog, where have I been? Well,  I have been nursing myself at home, I have not been feeling well lately it feels like my organs are not working. I have been disturb with my aching head and maybe if I didn’t realized that I am killing myself slowly I will not be back into shape. It started after eating crabs in coconut milk, at first I have thought food intolerance strikes again, headache and non-stop vomiting. I have bought blood pressure monitor for my mother and with me insisting to my sister to take my blood pressure we found out my blood pressure isn’t normal, I have monitor if for few days and it begin to slowly went down but my diastolic pressure is still high than normal. As what I have read from webmd.com the diastolic blood pressure number or the bottom number indicates the pressure in the arteries when the heart rests between beats. This  is the time when the heart fills with blood and receives oxygen. I think I over work my heart that my arteries are struggling that my blood pressure went to stage 2 of hypertension.

My kitty cat waking me up when I was sick

Anyway, I was told by a cousin that the village health nurse advice that I should see a doctor soon and have medical test done because my blood pressure isn’t good nor doing good but instead of following the advice to see a doctor I made sure to exercise daily, eat non-fatty food, less salt and caffeine. Honestly, I have been eating blunt food, no taste at all. I guess I have been paying for pigging out and eating sugary, greasy and oily food with J a few years back, we ate like pig those times like there will be no more tomorrow.

It was quite ironic, I have been abusing myself so I’ll die young and escape life but when I was near death I want to live. If I didn’t push myself out of bed and started working with the stationary bike at home I maybe ended hospitalized and had a stroke like my mother. The thing is one day, I woke up with a headache, sleepy and it feels like my blood isn’t circulating, my legs are inflamed, my body is retaining water and when I exercise, I perspired a lot and was able to breath well and my body felt warm and lighter.

So today, I have been trying to take care of myself, live a healthy life, not to overthink of life and be happy on my own little way amidst of depression and nervous breakdown when things are not going well around me.

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