Archive for October, 2015

The Silence is Screaming at Me

It was such a boring day yesterday, the silence was screaming at me.  I sleep the whole day again and I didn’t mind if I am sweating from the hot weather.  We’re told by our mother not to run the electric fan during the day so we could save money on paying less electric bill monthly. We just received the electric bill for the month and it is high than normal and we have to pay losses too which is disappointing.

Well, they called me crazy when I just screamed out of frustration, I was so depressed and I felt like doing something non-stop.  I have told them to turn on the DVD player and put non-English songs since it will be better for me if I can’t understand nor digest the lyrics. It was ironic because before I always told them to play English songs and I hate listening to the K-pop songs they downloaded online.

Alone

They went to town last night to buy bread for dinner and I tagged along to get some fresh air because it feels like my heart is stuck in my throat, yeah right we had coffee and bread for dinner and I guess it doesn’t help me because I wake up with a headache. Since I have nothing else to do today, I decided to dust around and clean the floor, and when I get up my surrounding is turning around and it is pitch black.  I thought for a minute I am going to lose consciousness but I manage to close my eyes and stand firm in the ground.

It is almost lunch time and we didn’t ate lunch yet,  we decided to prepare sauteed sardines in can for lunch so I’ve picked camote tops beside our house and my mother picked some in our grandmother’s backyard while my sister went to the hill to get raw papaya.

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Blood Relations, Resumes and Opportunities

A popular food establishment is going to open in our town, first one in the province. They currently hiring for staff with the age limit of 18-22, my sister tried to submit a resume but she exceeded the age limit so she informed some distant cousins and neighbors that were younger to try their luck. So last night, I was startled why my family is sitting in our porch, it turns out two distant cousins in different level came to have their resume created since we accept encoding jobs, I end up creating the resumes since my sister think I can do it better.

Neighbors

Before that, in the afternoon one of our male older cousin informed my sister that a shipping company is looking for an office staff to do booking and printing of ferry tickets, but it turns out they need a male employee. After a while my sister was surprised when someone came to our house and wanted to learn on how to use a computer and printing, maybe he was told of hiring news and wanted to apply for the job. My sister declined because it isn’t easy to teach someone in just a few hours how to use a computer in instant, well she is right I have classmates in college who still doesn’t know how to operate a computer while we are already graduating students that time. LOL

My family informed one of our very distant cousins who came to have his resume created to apply for the opening in the shipping company since he graduated college and  he is computer literate too. You might wondering, in Philippines especially in rural areas, all the people living around the neighborhood are related on different level of bloodline and sometimes it stretch up to 1-3 kilometers that there is blood connection.

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Commitment, Love and Sacrifice

Today is wider mission Sunday and it is the 4th Sunday I went to church to attend the service and it is the third time I have to wear eye glasses when going to church because I can’t see well from the distance.

The service started with praise and worship, I don’t know what have come to me but I was thankful that I am alive. The scriptural topic is about commitment again, when we heard commitment we always imagined a wedding, where two people are being committed to each other through thick and thin, and until death do they part, but our pastor also give an example how an athlete being committed on practicing every morning without fail. How about you? Are you committed? Do you know how to honor a commitment or do you turn your back the moment a trial came?

Love

[Image courtesy of Maciej A. Czyzewski/en.wikipedia.org]

Remember, that when you are committed to serve the Lord, whatever trials may come you are strong and will not be shaken because His Love is our strength. We must remember that God challenged us to focus and we must commit to His works to be done on His ways.

To love is to sacrifice, when we love someone we must be willing to sacrifice and honor thy commitment, we must be dedicated and loyal. If we love God, we are willing to sacrifice our time for Him, Sunday is for God’s glory.

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Earning Extra Cash from Home Through Printing

Earning money from home is possible if you know how to work with it. My family is accepting research, photocopying, typing and printing job at home. I think it helps that I worked in internet providing company with internet shop a long time ago where my sister stays at my work during lunch break and there are times I let her work with me or as substitute when I am not feeling well and she has no class schedule in school.

When I sent home my old sluggish laptop, they bought a cheap printer to accept photocopying, typing and printing jobs.  The earning per day isn’t big, there are times there is and there are times there’s none.  It is expected because our house isn’t in town nor in front of a school, people who need things to be photocopied or printed just came when they need it. The earnings which is sure is the $2-3 earnings per week from printing service program for the church beside us and the same amount monthly for the electric cooperative in our barangay.  Isn’t big but it is one of the business that we though nobody can copy since not everyone knew how to do it.

Brother DCP-J100 Printer

The old cheap printer they bought is already worn out, there are times it stops printing and you have to hit the printer hard so it will run. When we left South Korea, I have send J’s printer home, they were able to use and have the ink converted to CISS but it didn’t take long because the cartridge stop working, it was initially dried up when it arrives to them and someone they knew just made a way to fix it but since the cartridge is only available in Korea the printer became useless. It was just left in the corner to collect dust.

When I am able to earn enough money online to buy a printer and I found a huge savings from an online portal, I bought a new printer to be use in our small business so there will no pain in the ass when the old printer stops, and my sister will not refill a lot anymore. The printer I purchased online is Brother DCP-J100 Multi-function printer, at first we thought it can copied legal size paper since it has 200-400% reducer but it turns out it only caters A4 size paper. The printer is CISS ready and by passing the close printer error is easy.

Well so far, within almost a month since we bought the printer we already earned almost $10, quite small but a little something is a blessing and it is better than nothing, isn’t it?  This little something is helpful to buy small things especially when my father doesn’t have a job. If your house is in town and near a school you can do this business too and surely your earnings is much bigger than what we earned at home. You might earned $10 per day or more if your location is good.

So far this is the home-based business that our neighbors can’t copy yet, but who knows in the future.

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Protected: Home-Based Business: Dealing with Copycats

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Protected: Miserable Feeling: Wearing a Happy Mask

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Getting Free Product Samples Online

Getting sample products in the Philippines isn’t easy like getting them in the West where you can just submit your contact address and the samples will be delivered into your doorsteps after a few days without a cost. It was only recently, that some companies send sample products with no cost to public and they were only limited to some cities and it is hard to get them because they are out of stock right away.

Product Samples in the Philippines

A week ago, samples were delivered to me after I requested online but they were not free I have to pay for the shipping fee. To request these samples you have to use points on each product, when you registered your were given 100 points right away where you can use to request for sample and then you have to pay the shipping fee afterwards. You can do product reviews once you received the samples and then the points deducted when you requested the samples will be returned to you and you will given one point each if you do the review and another one point when the review was accepted. You can also earn one point every friend you have referred.

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Future Plans, Do I Have One?

Our father asked us what our plan is for the future. He is encouraging us to find work so we could support ourselves. He said he is not getting any younger so he cannot support us forever. He was out of job for almost a month and he just recently got a one week stint.  I would like to work but I can’t get a job in town, first nobody will hire me because they thought I am already rich, second the jobs that are only available in town is being a saleslady that has a minimal salary of ₱2,000.00 monthly ($44.44) which is just enough for everyday fare or maybe it is not even enough.  It is the same for my younger sister, she couldn’t find a decent job that will allow here to earn and save money, she tried to apply to a government office but in the end those applicant with strong backer or long experience were the one hired.  I’ve searched for jobs abroad and I found out there is an age limit of 29 or 30 years old to work in a factory and even if they hire exceeding the age limit the applicant should have an ample experience or already an ex-abroad or have already work abroad before so this option is crossed out in my lists.

Anyway, my sister can try to work abroad since she is younger but she needs ample money to do it since we live in the province and she must stay in Manila to find a good agency, and it doesn’t just end there because she has to pay huge placement fee that cost $$$$ -$$$$ before she can get the job and work abroad, medical fees and etc. are not included in that fee so it is really going to be hard for us to support her if she decided to work overseas. There are some agencies that offer no placement fee jobs but it will mean you will pay that amount every month and if you are only earning $$$-$$$ per month, you have to work like a slave so you could pay your agency in six months or one year. No wonder most of my relatives who work abroad were not able to save money or have their house finished, because their salary isn’t enough.

Depression

Here is my plan, to jump off the bridge when nobody is looking around.

So what is my plan? I don’t know I have nowhere else to go, if I was only a man I could maybe do carpentry jobs or work as a driver then drink all night to drown myself with liquor. I really have no plan for my future because I am tired of living, I’ll just maybe excitedly wait for the day I have to go and leave this cruel word. Well with the blogging industry going down, I am earning less than or a little more than $100 a month on my work online and but it isn’t enough to save since sometimes there is no earnings and then I have a motorcycle loan and I have to buy internet load that cost $34 per month. So I guess I will just live with that amount until I grow old, until earning online is possible. My father is pushing us because he is anxiously thinking what would be our life when he can’t work anymore, nobody is going to help us (his children) unlike if we have a stable job or already have our own family we are not going to be alone to overcome life and its trials, and he will not be scared for us.

Well, I’ve planned to return to school this second semester to take up education units but I don’t think I am ready to see my old instructors and professors, they’re just going to ask me how am I doing and where’s J. I have thought too, what is it for? Why I have to take education units when I know I won’t going to need it, when I don’t have a plan for the future.

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Women’s Faith, Strong Amid Challenges

The weather isn’t nice today it is very gloomy maybe because of the typhoon. I am not still feeling well too but it didn’t stop me from waking up early and taking a bath. I need to hold on so I can live; this Sunday is Women’s Sunday so the scriptural topic is about women, and how God uses women for the victory of Israel.

We remember women’s faith, strong amid challenges.

The speaker for today is our Pastor’s wife, she said it was her first time to speak in front of congregation but I think she did well. I was touched and blessed many times on her messages; I am able to digest a lot of after thoughts.

God knocked to us when we are wandering away to wake us up, we are not given problems we cannot overcome and problems are God’s way for us to seek Him. Our prayers will be answered on His time just few of the messages I can recall. I have a lot of troubles, I am weary and what is making me to stand is my hope and my faith that everything will be fine in God’s perfect time.

Going to church after three consecutive Sundays, I am slowly becoming comfortable with people’s presence. I am now able to look around and smile to the older women I’ve seen in the church unlike the first time I can’t do it. Being embarrassed to go to church after a long time was also the reason why I didn’t go to church for a long period, and I have overcome that embarrassment when one morning I decided to go, that was the time I cannot carry all my burdens anymore and my heart is overflowing with sadness. I am now learning to feel comfortable with people, I hope slowly I will be able to gain confidence.

Nobody know what am I going through except my family. A cousin asked me why I am not leaving the country yet, my replied “It is more fun in our town” my family knew it because I can’t hide it from them when I started crying out loud like someone died, well my heart dies.

Well, after church and lunch at home I went back to bed and I have been sleeping all day.

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Protected: Dealing with Birthday Sadness and Depression

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