Browsing Category: "Home and Living"

Feeling Bad for Being Snobbish and Rude at Times

We have different character and different approached to people. I am type of person who is snobbish and doesn’t really smile unless I know you; I won’t really open a conversation unless you open first. Just like an old crazy genius had told me a long time ago I am type of person who doesn’t trust at first sight, he said I observed first before speaking to someone and once I am being comfortable I easily trust and I am being too talkative. He was able to blurted it out when my classmates and I saw him in the public park;  he is known for being a walking encyclopaedia and as young students who can’t even memorized all the lessons at school my friends excitedly approached him and asked the scientific names of things on their mind. They all went amazed and asked so many things while I was just in the back looking at them and listening and that’s where he blurted out that I am different.

These past few days I am feeling bad for being rude and not socially inclined, like for not speaking a word when someone is talking at me or just nodding when someone asked me something. We cater photocopy at home with the use of a printer, $10 a month was already good since there we really don’t have a lot of customers just neighbors who are burdensome to go town to get one document to be photocopied.

One day while photocopying some music sheets for a church, I was asked by the customer if I was a COP student way back on college, I corrected it by saying Information Technology and then he blurted out that he was seeing me around back then (seeing in the school or maybe institute) instead of asking him what year he was or what was his course I just keep my mouth shut, yeah right I didn’t say a word nor continue a conversation.  When the customer was gone I have asked my sister if I did the right thing of not speaking, my sister chuckled on disbelief, she said I was too rude and so snobbish for not uttering any word.

Today it happens again, someone came to our house to have some documents to be photocopied. I was perplexed when she went inside our house with her slippers on; it was a strict rule inside our house not to bring our dirty slippers inside. Since I don’t feel good about it when she asked to sit in our chair instead of happily saying yes I just made a letter O sound and when she was gone I have asked my mother if I did the right thing or if I was being rude again. My mother didn’t answer me directly she just told me I should just let her with her slippers on since that’s how it works on their house and today my guilt is eating me again and can’t stop thinking about it, thinking that I am being too rude again to people.

Am I really rude?

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A Blessed Sunday: My Heritage of Faith, My Legacy

It was been a long time since I write about Sunday, my internet was just slow to open pages since the frequent raining last month. Today is the first Sunday of the month so the church service was a bit early,  after drinking a cup of coffee I headed to the church nearby.  Pastor E’s scripture reading for today was from 1 Thessalonians 1: 1-3, with a new topic for the whole month which is “My Heritage of Faith, My Legacy”.

When we die, we all leave a legacy behind. Have you ever considered what legacy to leave when you die? How do we want to be remember?

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[Photo courtesy of talkwisdom.wordpress.com]

According to Paul on verse 3 one of the character of a lasting legacy is faith, faith produces good work. Faith is when God invade our hearts, when He let Him do the things for us and accepting His ways rather than doing our own ways.  The second character is the legacy of love,  a labor prompted by love.  Pastor E set an examples what is laboring love, the first one is loving without getting anything in return, the other example is accepting your spouse imperfections, he reiterated how a couple is perfect before marriage, but after marriage all imperfections arises and choosing to accept those imperfections are called labor of love, the last one is the legacy of hope inspired of endurance.

Pastor E finished his preaching by leaving an quotes from Benjamin Franklin that  says “If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write something worth reading or do things worth writing.”

A Blessed Sunday: The Revolution of Character

Today, after drinking  a cup of coffee and eating “kakanin” I head on the church without much to take care of. The scripture verse this Sunday was from Colossians 3:1-4. Pastor E talked about character, how it is our inner strength. He says character is not what we do but it is who we are and it defines us, the expression of our faith.

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Pastor E didn’t speak so much he just elaborate the importance of character as a Christian and how Christian should be after accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior, that the old has gone and the new is here, we must live like Christ like. A Christian a completely changed person, transformed in character.

The responsive reading was very touching and it reads like this –

Father, During this coming week there may be times when I shall not be able to sense Your presence or to be aware of Your nearness.

When I am lonely and by myself I TRUST YOU TO BE MY COMPANION.

When I am tempted to sin I TRUST YOU TO KEEP ME FROM IT.

When I am depressed and anxious I TRUST YOU TO LIFT MY SPIRITS.

When I am crushed by my responsibility and overwhelmed by the demands of people on my time, I TRUST YOU TO GIVE ME POISE AND A SENSE OF PURPOSE.

When I am rushed and running I TRUST YOU TO MAKE ME STILL INSIDE.

When I forget You I TRUST THAT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET ME.

When I forget others I TRUST YOU TO PROMPT ME TO THINK OF THEM.

When you take something or someone from me that I want to keep; when You remove the props I lean on for comfort in place of You; when You refuse to respond to my questions and to answer my selfish prayers, I WILL TRUST YOU EVEN THEN. Amen

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Why I Choose To Be Friends Only With Myself

The other day I have learned that a school mate got married after long years of dating, I have informed my mother about it and she asked me why I wasn’t invited which I simply replied that we are not closed which made her wonder and asked why she went with another schoolmate into our home when I just arrived from abroad, well maybe she just tagged along.

Anyway, it feels like it was been long years, the other day I am able to reread my blog post entitled My Life, My Friends and My Sadness I have been home for a few years and if you will asked me if I meet any of them for a get together, my answer is no.  Never had a chance to meet them and talked like there is no tomorrow. A few times, I have met my college friend when I visited her on her work place, the second time when I dropped my gift to her son and then nothing else, I hid myself and never been out of home unless going to town market with my family.

Girl, Dog, Beauty, Young, Animal, Lifestyle, People

[Photo courtesy of thatsphotography/pixabay.com]

Honestly, I believed I have a lot of friends but I have found out I am only their friend when I am around and when I am not I am just someone else. Anyway, I have seen some of my “friends” but it is always a casual meeting, if we didn’t wave each other we just say hi and hello. Actually, there is someone I consider a friend on my high school days, I know her parents and her siblings and whenever I saw her in town I greeted her first but I have noticed she wasn’t that excited to see me, she won’t acknowledge me until I acknowledge her first and whenever I asked her question she sounds so inferior and so mighty so I stopped saying hi after realizing it was only me who cares. One fateful day, I saw her walking with a foreigner and the moment she saw me, she held the guy’s arm and let loose when I am already out of her sight and because of curiosity I have done stalking to her social account and I found out it was her boyfriend and she visited a few Asians countries already, so after that incident I didn’t wonder anymore why she has that attitude towards me.

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[Photo courtesy of ThePixelman/pixabay.com]

“I am scared of rejection so I choose to be alone”

When android phones became popular in the market I reconnected with some of my so called “friends” and schoolmates through Facebook but then I realized their hidden agenda on reconnecting with me. They want to meet me but I have to pay for them, they want to bring me but I have to pay for them and blah blah blah…. there are some “friends” who will asked how much allowance I received monthly and whenever I say I am not receiving any, end of discussion they won’t message again but what is more entertaining was when an old friend added me in Facebook just to borrow money (lol).

Since then, I learned how to be reserved and answer briefly as short as their question. I don’t give much details and updates about me especially about my married life that they are devouring to know.

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