Our father asked us what our plan is for the future. He is encouraging us to find work so we could support ourselves. He said he is not getting any younger so he cannot support us forever. He was out of job for almost a month and he just recently got a one week stint. I would like to work but I can’t get a job in town, first nobody will hire me because they thought I am already rich, second the jobs that are only available in town is being a saleslady that has a minimal salary of ₱2,000.00 monthly ($44.44) which is just enough for everyday fare or maybe it is not even enough. It is the same for my younger sister, she couldn’t find a decent job that will allow here to earn and save money, she tried to apply to a government office but in the end those applicant with strong backer or long experience were the one hired. I’ve searched for jobs abroad and I found out there is an age limit of 29 or 30 years old to work in a factory and even if they hire exceeding the age limit the applicant should have an ample experience or already an ex-abroad or have already work abroad before so this option is crossed out in my lists.
Anyway, my sister can try to work abroad since she is younger but she needs ample money to do it since we live in the province and she must stay in Manila to find a good agency, and it doesn’t just end there because she has to pay huge placement fee that cost $$$$ -$$$$ before she can get the job and work abroad, medical fees and etc. are not included in that fee so it is really going to be hard for us to support her if she decided to work overseas. There are some agencies that offer no placement fee jobs but it will mean you will pay that amount every month and if you are only earning $$$-$$$ per month, you have to work like a slave so you could pay your agency in six months or one year. No wonder most of my relatives who work abroad were not able to save money or have their house finished, because their salary isn’t enough.
Here is my plan, to jump off the bridge when nobody is looking around.
So what is my plan? I don’t know I have nowhere else to go, if I was only a man I could maybe do carpentry jobs or work as a driver then drink all night to drown myself with liquor. I really have no plan for my future because I am tired of living, I’ll just maybe excitedly wait for the day I have to go and leave this cruel word. Well with the blogging industry going down, I am earning less than or a little more than $100 a month on my work online and but it isn’t enough to save since sometimes there is no earnings and then I have a motorcycle loan and I have to buy internet load that cost $34 per month. So I guess I will just live with that amount until I grow old, until earning online is possible. My father is pushing us because he is anxiously thinking what would be our life when he can’t work anymore, nobody is going to help us (his children) unlike if we have a stable job or already have our own family we are not going to be alone to overcome life and its trials, and he will not be scared for us.
Well, I’ve planned to return to school this second semester to take up education units but I don’t think I am ready to see my old instructors and professors, they’re just going to ask me how am I doing and where’s J. I have thought too, what is it for? Why I have to take education units when I know I won’t going to need it, when I don’t have a plan for the future.