Sleep Paralysis is Haunting Me, I am Dying Slowly

So weird. That’s how I called my dreams/nightmare yesterday morning, I woke up around nine o’clock in the morning when the alarm clock rang. It was breakfast time for Pookie bear I just opened my eyes and went back to sleep because he prepare his meal alone.  He doesn’t eat heavy breakfast, a glass of whey protein and few grams of sliced apples was enough to start his day.  I woke up again at ten o’clock when Pookie bear get ready for school and went back to sleep when he left,  we sleep at 2 AM every night, we are nocturnal. Anyway, I turned my laptop first so there’s something to disturb me or wake me up in case I had a bad dreams again and sleep paralysis strikes again.

Low Angle View of Spiral Staircase Against Black Background

[Photo courtesy of pixabay/pexels.com]

As I am sleeping I had this dream that we are traveling and we are in a very familiar place, it wasn’t my first time to be there because everything was very familiar then I don’t know how my dream changed on seeing me sleeping. On my dream I was sleeping backwards, my feet where facing in the headboard when Pookie bear arrives from school and I can hear his movements while his changing to home clothes and getting something in the fridge for his meal, I tried to wake up but I can’t open my eyes (you know I was worried on my dreams to being scolded by my husband for sleeping too much and not even preparing his meal after work) and it was getting hard for me to breath. As I am struggling to wake up in my dreams Pookie bear peek inside my blanket to wake me up and I constantly heard some movements.  I struggle to wake up again,  I opened my eyes but they will closed again and I am already losing air. Then suddenly after struggling so hard I finally woke up and found out I was holding my nose preventing me to breath (imagine when you are preparing to dive in the water), as I tried to move out from the bead, I realized my body was paralyzed up to my head.  It was weird but my head feels like a balloon that is full of air and can explode anytime. With this,  I rest for a little bit and move out of our bed to make a coffee so I can’t sleep anymore. Well, I found out the movement I’ve heard in my dream was not from Pookie bear but to our neighbors in the second floor it sounds like they are moving/arranging their cabinets and tables. I was so lucky and thankful on their noises, lucky they did it while I am fighting to live and wake up again.  As usual the consequences when I have this kind of dreams was my body is dead tired, I feel so tired as if I work-out so much.

So today, I didn’t sleep during the day.  I was really scared because this wasn’t the first time it happens, it always happen whenever I am sleep. I don’t know how it started but it isn’t healthy already. I have research many methods how to prevent this or how to wake up during struggle, it helps but there are times when I panicked I can’t even wake up myself unless I started to pray.

Well, Pookie bear wake up very early and went to Postal office and mailed his present to his friend (C) he didn’t bother to wake me up because I think he is a little angry with me for bothering him last night. He wants to sleep but I don’t like to sleep because I was still scared, all I want is to use my laptop, he won anyway.

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