Every night I always had a dream but most of the time I forgot what is it after going to the bathroom to pee.  I have been blogging my dreams but due to intermittent connection I didn’t bother documenting it again.

Anyway, since I was young I knew I was an old soul.  I knew I was born before but I just don’t know when and how I live my life and how many times I was born. When I met an accident when I was young, I was hit and run-over by motorcycle I have recollection on how I live my life as a kid, it was like they were flashback right on my eyes and then all I remember I was going down in a spiral and I woke up asking for a water.  I have never told anyone about it because I have thought it was normal.

Moreover, I always have recurring dream of being in a familiar place when in reality I have never been there and I can’t remember the place in my dream. I have dreamed often too being a child living in a different planet,  I see fires, burning city, flying metal objects just like how the city in Jean Claude Van Damme’s movie Universal Soldier I didn’t think about it that much maybe because it was just created by my brain when I was asleep.

Growing up, I enjoyed reading mystery, horror and metaphysical stories. I am fascinated with the theory of reincarnation, I can spend my whole day reading stories about it, lately I have been reading new stories again. It was been my long wish to do past life regression but I just don’t know how to find people that could help me with it.  I search about how to do it alone and last night before going to sleep when everything is silent I tried to do it, it was hard for me to concentrate because it is either my hand felt itchy or my foot does,  after trying so hard I saw a vision, I have seen a yellow flower in a vase in a door to the balcony (maybe that’s why I prefer yellow flower than the red ones), dark dirty water seeing it from below, a hospital bed then I felt anxious so I went out the imaginary door and rest  to an imaginary chair.  When I went in the door again,  I saw a train coming, I have heard its sound, I am in a station, it wasn’t the present era, it was in sepia, the train looks like running through a steam engine there was a lot of people rushing I was feeling frantic because I couldn’t see myself, I want to see myself on this period and then I saw a beautiful sophisticated woman wearing sophisticated black dress with a black hat just like how Audrey Hepburn was, she has pearl earrings and she was very beautiful white female like a celebrity, then my vision hop seeing an Asian small old man sitting at the corner of his hospital bed, he is wearing a hospital pajama and as if he is waiting for someone, a visit from family maybe but there was a thought that he is all alone then I came back feeling tired and empty, I fell asleep instantly.

[Photo courtesy of Hoang Le/pexels.com]

There are times there are familiar people in my dreams but in reality they are not existing in my present world and there are times there are people I know in my present life but they have different face in my dream.

Fear of Snake

I am very afraid of snake just imagining it getting near me I cringe. Not so long ago I dreamed of being a beautiful woman with a long black hair with an olive skin living in a tribe wearing a traditional tribal clothing adorned with stones or bones in my forehead, neck and clothing. It feels like I am about to marry a chieftain or son of a chieftain but I don’t know what happened, the woman in my tribe standing next to me is jealous of me, in present life she is an older cousin. On that dream I saw myself and her lying in a bed made of hay and a black snake was crawling underneath and black out, I woke up with a fear like there was a snake in my bed. It was like we are executed by a snake bite or we are chosen through a snake… ah dunno what is it!

Fascinated with the Sea

Since I was a child I am fascinated seeing the sea, I always wish that the jeep I rode every afternoon to home will traverse the road near the sea, I felt ecstatic and happy seeing the sea but the truth was I don’t know how to swim and I never learned how to do it no matter how I tried. I am also afraid going to the deep part of the sea I guess it has connection of me seeing a dark dirty water last night, maybe on my previous life I drowned at the sea or in a pond. What is interesting when I was sixteen years of age I almost drowned with my classmate in a river.

I have read from other story tellers that there are times things happened like they happened in the past, so I guess I died from drowning when I was sixteen years old on my past life. What do you think?

Familiarity with the Jantar Mantar

When J and I went to India, specifically  in Jaipur (Jantar Mantar) I frantically told him “I have been here, I saw this already!” when it was the first of me seeing it. I cannot recall seeing it in movies nor in photo, I have remember myself walking around the Sundials climbing with one of them to see the stars. When we are in India, I am always mistaken a local of the country.

Out of Tuned Music

Many people who knew me knows that I don’t know how to sing, I am out of tuned but there is part of me who believes that on my past life I was a good singer but I cursed it, I wonder if it has relation to the beautiful woman in the train station.

Hospital and Balcony

Growing up I am scared of going to a hospital, furthermore meeting a doctor alone.  I was also scared of heights and looking over a balcony, when I was in grade school I remember how I felt sick looking down from the third floor and I also remember how I felt cold feet every time I look down below the balcony of J’s apartment in Korea, I was scared of falling and I always felt like throwing up whenever I looked down I guess it has to do with the balcony and the old man I saw in his hospital pajama, did I committed suicide at a balcony on that life?

I have a lot of questions and I wonder how many lives did I live, which of my dreams are true and are all of my visions are real?  It was said your birthmarks was the cause of your death on your past life, I have one in my forehead and there is something at the back of my head and I have a birthmark in the right side of my body too… I sometimes wonder if these are bullet or arrows point of entry.

I have been dreaming lately but I am procrastinated to write about them because of my slow internet connection. I have two dreams last  night and my second dream was  somewhat weird, it started by seeing myself in the middle of a busy market and then I heard a loud sound, an airplane emerged from the sky, it is flying low and uncontrollable and then I heard a crashed sound coming from the mountains. The plane crashed, people immediately run towards the crashed site but I run home to get my camera and informed my friends. What is weird, I wasn’t rushing when I felt like I have too, along the way I saw our college instructor and our house became a school. My friends and classmate went out too look over the smoking crashed site and as I looked over, people are falling down from the sky and then one woman fly over directly to us safely, she is from the plane and she told us that she fly with her friends just to buy something, we agreed to go to the crash site to look and see her friends.

The crashed site is full of smoke and flames, there are already a lot of people and doctors, some passengers are still seated on their seat belt, some suffer burns and crying. One woman had burn on her arm and was told it will take nine months before her burn will heal. It looks like there are a lot of survivors than casualties.

[Photo courtesy of Saiho/pixabay.com]

Then my dream hopped, I have seen myself and my eldest aunt looking towards the field. Water is flowing down to the field from the crashed site, we’ve been analyzing in which field it is flowing and we found out it is on the field my father is currently farming, my father went to the field and I followed. The water stopped and I found a lot of coins in the mud, in my dream they are Euros and I excitedly picked 5 and 10 euros, as I am going out of the mud I heard announcement from the crashed site and a foreign young kid run towards me from the bushes asking for help. I walked home with the young boy and while walking I asked him some question, I was told they’re going for a vacation with his brother, step-sister, mother and two fathers, I wasn’t able to asked if she has also two mothers because we already reached home. On my mind, I have the thought of surrendering the boy to the authorities but there is a thought that I want him to keep for the day. At home I found a cousin in our living room and my grandmother preparing the sleeping mat, the young boy went with me and when I saw my mother I told her I found a survivor, my mother is hesitant and a bit agitated seeing us because she said she already mopped the floor and my dream ended, I woke up feeling cold.

I don’t know what is my dream all about, and who is the English speaking boy, is it possibly Cody?

Every night I am dreaming, I used to journal my dreams but the procrastinated me is so lazy to do it and there are times I forgot what was my dream all about when I wake up or after hour passed. My dream last night was so vivid, saw myself talking to a young female ghost and asking her so many questions. Then a group of men wearing white took me and while walking away from the ghost I am talking with I saw a feet of a man wearing white trousers beside her, I am not able to see his face because I didn’t look up… along the way I saw many ghost, then I don’t know how my dream hop in to different place, the people who took me brought me in front of a house which looks more of a villa and then my dream went to different scenario.

What is weird, on my dream I am not scared seeing ghost around me while in real life I am scared of them. It reminds me what happened a few weeks ago. It was evening and as I went out the door of our old house to go to the store, in my peripheral vision I saw a person in my left side leaning towards our old house, I saw his eyes looking at me and since I am not expecting that there was a person in that dark corner I cried out in surprised and as I look back to say a word, nobody was there, I am all alone… there was no person in there, it was just a motor bike which is fully covered with coat.

My aunt who owns the store, heard me and asked me what had happened to me because she heard me scream in fear and shocked, so I told her what I saw.

Sleep paralysis visited me last night, it feels like I was awake but I am not and as expected I have struggled many times to wake up. It feels like I woke up and then I was back again into sleep state and will struggle again to open my eyes. I felt so ice cold that I am trying to turn off the electric fan and I am trying to reach it out so I could wake up, and when I finally wake up, I was startled why I felt icy cold when it is very warm and hot. Does it mean, my body is already losing its warm and I am already leaving it? Anyway, with the little strength I have I forced myself to wake up and get off the bed, went to the bathroom and wash my face and tried not to sleep again because I don’t know if I could wake up myself again.

[Photo courtesy of Larisa-K/pixabay.com]

Yes, I was so scared to sleep again that I don’t want to close my eyes but due to tiredness I fell asleep and dream. I have seen myself with classmates somewhere, we are holding an umbrella and it wasn’t clear to me if everyone is wearing black. In our back there is a small tiny shack at the foot of the hill, there’s water running, making the ground wet and then my dream hop seeing myself and classmates getting inside our grade 3 classroom but the teacher was different it wasn’t our adviser but another teacher in the same grade. She was very happy and teary eye for us visiting and remembering, she was also thankful to our class president and when I went near our teacher she hardly remember who am I and my dream ended.

In the blink of an eye everything can change. So forgive often and love with all of your heart. You never know when you may  not have that chance again.

When I wake up in the morning I have asked my mother if I am trying to turn off the electric fan because I would like to know if it was a dream or I was really trying to do it. She said yes but I wasn’t satisfied with her answer because I would like to know more of what I did in my sleep state, but as expected they didn’t understand what I had gone through and even gets angry for asking too much details. Nobody is willing to listen, they care less about my story so I told them someone is already dying beside you but they don’t even know and they couldn’t even care.

Oh, should I also mention that the previous night my mother dreamed that I die, someone told her in her dream that I am already dead.

This wasn’t the first time I had sleep paralysis, back in Korea in our old apartment every night or any time I slept in the day I have nightmares and sleep paralysis, I had a sleep deprivation that time because I was too scared to sleep.

Had a weird dream last night, I found myself inside a classroom and an instructor was giving us books in white covered, the books were display up front and we are given a chance to get the book we wanted. I choose and took two books because I was scared that the first book I choose doesn’t have complete pages while the second book I choose was a bit new but has some words written in it from previous owner, it looks like those books were just donated and given to us.

[Photo courtesy of Domas/pixabay.com]

Then I don’t know else what happened next, I found myself outside the classroom and getting into fight with a female classmate, she hit me twice with a book in the head and it feels quite real. Being driven I fought back but since this classmate was known for being a kind type, I was put to humiliation for fighting back. Then I saw myself below a stage in queue, we are going to walk and ramp in the stage, the classmate I have a fight with went ahead first of me and she received applause from the audience and when it was my turn nobody applause’s and it feels like I am being ridiculed for doing something bad, I walk and do turns while in stage and then when I reached the other end, I hide and cried under a long table, I felt bad on how I am treated by many, below the table between sobs I am undressing the shirt I am wearing to wear something new. The floor is full of snow melting and it is a bit cold, I noticed that my bag was on the way when someone older, pretty and popular came, I hid so I won’t get noticed.

[Photo courtesy of rotten77/pixabay.com]

I don’t know how my dream hopped seeing myself in an apartment, it looks like the apartment we had in Icheon with a Japanese sliding door, it was very clean like it was just like an empty room but near the door where am I standing there was large boxes. Someone I knew was cleaning and I was asked to continue doing it… and I wake up with a feeling of discomfort, pain and rejection.

It was been a long time since I write about my dreams because I tend to forget them, when I wake up we’ve been busy collecting water and when it is time for me to sit and write about the dream I had at night I can’t remember what is it already. Wasn’t updating everyday as well since there isn’t something interesting happening in my life. I just stayed home, sleeping and watching TV.

Anyway, last night, my dream was a bit violent and scary; I saw my cat and white-greenish snake fighting in the field. The snake attacked my cat twice but he managed to move away although I don’t know if he was bitten. The snake was quite long and large; his was body taller than the bushy fields. Scared with what I have seen, I run back home but then I saw a what looks like a dead snake being coiled/tied in a post that made me scared and I already forgot the rest of my dream.

I was too tired to dream these past few nights then I was emotionally unstable yesterday morning after not getting enough sleep the previous night.  When I skipped meals or lacked of sleep I have notice I felt so down and emotionally sensitive. I am like a walking dead, alive from the outside but deep inside me I am so shattered and broken.

Anyway, my dream last night was another chased dream. It was a very tiring dream to run for your lives and I wonder if I didn’t run what would happen to me, am I still going to wake up after being killed in my dream?

[Image source: dailymail.co.uk]

The dream takes place in a forest like setting, I don’t know how it started but I am being chased by someone which seems like a young foreigner teenage boy.  I run for my lives since my chaser is going to kill me, I run like there is no tomorrow and I don’t care if I fell while running or hit some branches.  Then out of nowhere another foreigner came out of rescue, it was like he is the father  of my chaser and he was telling the boy to stop but he keeps chasing me and eventually throw the weapon to hit me, I look at it when it land in the dirt, it was a jungle bolo, I run until I fell in a  ravine.  I saw myself next sitting inside a vehicle that looks like a jeep; it was full of older men and women who are also foreigners, they are all wearing white shirts and shorts.  It was like I was rescued by them, I was so scared, and my body is shaking from fear. They were so loud and happy; they were playing and touching each other like little kids and beside me is an old man sitting quietly.

I don’t know what the meaning of my dream but it feels so real especially when I was chased and trembling in fear after being rescued.

Walking is one the best exercise to relieve daily stress I have been dreaming of seeing myself walking these past few nights, if not alone I am with a friend. Last night, I have dream of something but I totally forgot what is it when I open my eyes but one thing is sure it wasn’t a happy dream because I have tears on my eyes when I wake up. When I return to sleep I have a new dream that I was walking with my mother in a quiet neighborhood shops, we passed along the busy restaurant and outside I saw someone sitting without moving, it was a schoolmate. I look at her upfront and teased her by yelling her name twice and walked away that’s when she moved. It looks like we just walked around because I’ve seen ourselves across the street, I left my mother in one shop and peek from the glass wall of the adjacent clothes store and I’ve seen faded denim clothes of a child, sacks of it and garments. The clothes seems to be used ones and they were being prepared for something since I exclaimed “that’s how they do it”, my mother appeared on my back and look where am I looking.

[Image source: northwestimages.blogspot.com]

Then my dream hopped reaching a food place where I saw my friend G eating with someone her cousin presumably, they have a lot of dishes in the table. In my dream it looks like I saw them already earlier, we’d talk something but when I wake up I already forgot what is our conversation all about.

To dream of a market place which is vacant or empty means that you will try to reflect on the good things in life. – auntyflo.com

To see baby clothes in your dream suggests that you are expressing yourself in a more subtle way. Alternatively, baby clothes represent your former ways of thinking or old habits which you have outgrown.  – dreammoods.com

Dreams, dreams visit me so often. My dream started seeing myself walking in a street along the shoreline and by looking at the sea it was dried up, sort of low tide so all I can see is mud. I continue walking and the water started coming to the shore which is a sign of high tide, the water is so big and the waves are so strong and high that they went overboard in the street; I am more fascinated than be scared of it. I continue walking in the dirt grassy road which is wet and muddy from the water, but what is surprising my shoes or feet didn’t get dirty. I wasn’t alone in the road, I saw few people coming towards me particularly two women hikers whom I help by holding their hand to cross the muddy dirt.

While walking I am thinking that I am going to pass through the house of a friend and then I reached a road with an intersection, the other road which is cemented is going up in a hill with few small houses and a store, the street is familiar and it feels like I have been there before as a kid and I have played around, I stayed foothill looking up and I took the other road which lead me to a small square and in front of me was a church which is I have been anticipating to see after seeing a photo with priest in them, I have took photo of the church twice using a camera phone but what is making me confuse is the peach brown building doesn’t look like a church it is more of a school or government building, while taking photo a group of students was in the front and they were included in the photo, they posed and smiled especially one particular student. I wandered around until I reach a place where there is a large truck/trailer parked, I have walked around to pick something like a rag and thrown it to the front even though I was told not to mind it and my dream ended.

Beautiful Venus continues to cycle back into your dreams and fantasies that’s just part of my horoscope for today. No wonder, I am able to remember my dream last night, it started upon seeing two doors and I have to choose which door to enter, when I made a choice I have found out that the door I have entered is room that which is full of sad emotions, problems and life won’t be an easy ride. I was able to pass through and I have found myself sitting, sobbing and patiently waiting at the other side beyond the close doors while hearing other people laughing happily after being successfully choosing the right door which is full of happiness and free from problems. I don’t know who am I waiting in my dream but when I wake up I am feeling sad, my heart felt so heavy and my eyes are puffy like I just came from crying.

[Image from youtube.com]

In waking life, I know who I am waiting. There are times I am experiencing a real need to reach out and connect but my fear is stopping me, the fear of rejection.