Why I Choose To Be Friends Only With Myself

The other day I have learned that a school mate got married after long years of dating, I have informed my mother about it and she asked me why I wasn’t invited which I simply replied that we are not closed which made her wonder and asked why she went with another schoolmate into our home when I just arrived from abroad, well maybe she just tagged along.

Anyway, it feels like it was been long years, the other day I am able to reread my blog post entitled My Life, My Friends and My Sadness I have been home for a few years and if you will asked me if I meet any of them for a get together, my answer is no.  Never had a chance to meet them and talked like there is no tomorrow. A few times, I have met my college friend when I visited her on her work place, the second time when I dropped my gift to her son and then nothing else, I hid myself and never been out of home unless going to town market with my family.

Girl, Dog, Beauty, Young, Animal, Lifestyle, People

[Photo courtesy of thatsphotography/pixabay.com]

Honestly, I believed I have a lot of friends but I have found out I am only their friend when I am around and when I am not I am just someone else. Anyway, I have seen some of my “friends” but it is always a casual meeting, if we didn’t wave each other we just say hi and hello. Actually, there is someone I consider a friend on my high school days, I know her parents and her siblings and whenever I saw her in town I greeted her first but I have noticed she wasn’t that excited to see me, she won’t acknowledge me until I acknowledge her first and whenever I asked her question she sounds so inferior and so mighty so I stopped saying hi after realizing it was only me who cares. One fateful day, I saw her walking with a foreigner and the moment she saw me, she held the guy’s arm and let loose when I am already out of her sight and because of curiosity I have done stalking to her social account and I found out it was her boyfriend and she visited a few Asians countries already, so after that incident I didn’t wonder anymore why she has that attitude towards me.

Child, Play, Happy, Kids, Childhood, Joy, Summer, Dirt

[Photo courtesy of ThePixelman/pixabay.com]

“I am scared of rejection so I choose to be alone”

When android phones became popular in the market I reconnected with some of my so called “friends” and schoolmates through Facebook but then I realized their hidden agenda on reconnecting with me. They want to meet me but I have to pay for them, they want to bring me but I have to pay for them and blah blah blah…. there are some “friends” who will asked how much allowance I received monthly and whenever I say I am not receiving any, end of discussion they won’t message again but what is more entertaining was when an old friend added me in Facebook just to borrow money (lol).

Since then, I learned how to be reserved and answer briefly as short as their question. I don’t give much details and updates about me especially about my married life that they are devouring to know.

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