When it rains, it pours. This saying isn’t new, lot of things happens within the clan in a week, it wasn’t that long when my blood rise to the roof and then one of my older aunt had a high blood attack just a week ago, she almost didn’t make it if she didn’t crawled to their porch to call for help. The first relatives who help says my aunt was already icy cold and her blood pressure is soaring to the roof that cause her headache and tremendous vomiting. When I went to their house, she was not in good shape anymore she looked very helpless and very sick, they were getting ready bringing her to the hospital after long deliberation with my aunt. It turns out she doesn’t want to be brought in the hospital and just cried silently but since she is too weak she was rushed to the hospital right away where she was confined for a few days.

Not long after, another aunt had a high blood attack I have heard of it after my cousin’s wife bought an ice pack, I went to my aunt house which is just beside us, she is lying on their sofa chair with leaves on her temples. I have ask what happened then a cousin informed that our aunt had a high blood attack and there isn’t medicine for first aid, upon knowing what medicine they need I immediately went home, there are some aspirin in our home, they were one of my mother’s maintenance medicine but since she developed rashes while taking them she stopped taking those medicines.

[Photo courtesy of unsplash.com/pexels.com]

A younger cousin is set to wed in a few a months but it looks there is a chance it won’t take place because of unforeseen issues that will affect a lifetime.

Anyway, today a very sad news came. A younger pregnant cousin who married a few months ago had an ultrasound done in town and they have found out the baby in her belly has no heartbeat anymore… I don’t know much details since it just happened a little while this afternoon but as what I have heard she will be brought to the hospital before we went to town to shop.

Well, while I am creating this blog post I am hearing some yelling and glasses being thrown and broken into pieces, it looks like a neighboring couple was having a couple fight… ahm dunno…

It was been almost a month since my last update on this blog, where have I been? Well,  I have been nursing myself at home, I have not been feeling well lately it feels like my organs are not working. I have been disturb with my aching head and maybe if I didn’t realized that I am killing myself slowly I will not be back into shape. It started after eating crabs in coconut milk, at first I have thought food intolerance strikes again, headache and non-stop vomiting. I have bought blood pressure monitor for my mother and with me insisting to my sister to take my blood pressure we found out my blood pressure isn’t normal, I have monitor if for few days and it begin to slowly went down but my diastolic pressure is still high than normal. As what I have read from webmd.com the diastolic blood pressure number or the bottom number indicates the pressure in the arteries when the heart rests between beats. This  is the time when the heart fills with blood and receives oxygen. I think I over work my heart that my arteries are struggling that my blood pressure went to stage 2 of hypertension.

My kitty cat waking me up when I was sick

Anyway, I was told by a cousin that the village health nurse advice that I should see a doctor soon and have medical test done because my blood pressure isn’t good nor doing good but instead of following the advice to see a doctor I made sure to exercise daily, eat non-fatty food, less salt and caffeine. Honestly, I have been eating blunt food, no taste at all. I guess I have been paying for pigging out and eating sugary, greasy and oily food with J a few years back, we ate like pig those times like there will be no more tomorrow.

It was quite ironic, I have been abusing myself so I’ll die young and escape life but when I was near death I want to live. If I didn’t push myself out of bed and started working with the stationary bike at home I maybe ended hospitalized and had a stroke like my mother. The thing is one day, I woke up with a headache, sleepy and it feels like my blood isn’t circulating, my legs are inflamed, my body is retaining water and when I exercise, I perspired a lot and was able to breath well and my body felt warm and lighter.

So today, I have been trying to take care of myself, live a healthy life, not to overthink of life and be happy on my own little way amidst of depression and nervous breakdown when things are not going well around me.