Emptiness and lifeless feeling. I am already tired of living, I don't find reason to live. I am so depressed of life, every day is an agony and every morning I wake up is a punishment. I felt so weak, I am tired of crying but this stupid pain won't go away. There are times I would like to open my chest, took my heart out so it will stop beating. It was very painful and heart wrenching, I wanna end my life. I don't wanna live anymore...
Yes, I am struggling with depression, I am living in a black hole. I felt tired, hopeless and helpless, I have no interest meeting friends and people I hide whenever I see them, I sleep a lot without a thought of waking up, I can’t control negative thoughts, no matter how much I tried, I am irritable and can't concentrate on things I need to do. I am severe.
There are a lot of times I want to give up and just go, but then whenever I read a quotes out of nowhere I have realized I am becoming selfish thinking just about myself giving up. There are other people in the worst situation where am I know, there are more people struggling than I am now but they keep on fighting and they keep on living. Like what I have heard yesterday while my family is watching a drama series "To survive this life, you must wear a happy mask" well I must do this so I can live this life because maybe there will be a better life waiting for me on my next life, I wonder if I will be reincarnated as human again.
The photo above is the cat we have rescue from a tree, it is indeed true that your pets can feel your sadness and setbacks in life. He started sleeping like he is so down in top of the TV when one day he saw me with a tears in my eyes, the favors and souvenirs were displayed over there but my family decided to transfer them in a safe place to avoid being accidentally dropped in the floor.
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