Finding My Way Back to Blogging

Lately, life has been a little overwhelming. I've been dealing with a lot of stress and problems, and there are times when I honestly don't know who I can talk to. There are plenty of people around me, but I've realized that being surrounded by people doesn't necessarily mean you have someone who truly understands what you're going through.

Some people will listen, but they may not really understand. Others may care, but sometimes they don't notice when you're struggling quietly. And somehow, in the middle of all of this, I found myself writing again. I came back to the one place where I've always been able to say whatever is on my mind without worrying about being judged—my blog.

Funny how life works. Sometimes, it brings you back to something you thought you had already left behind.

Going Back Through My Old Blog Posts

My domain is set to expire soon, so I've been going through my old blog posts again. I thought I was simply checking old content, but I ended up taking a little trip down memory lane. Reading those posts feels like opening an old box of photographs.

One post reminds me of a place I visited. Another brings back a particular meal I cooked. Some make me remember things I bought, people I met, trips I took, or even the most ordinary days of my life.

Back then, I never thought those little posts were important. I was just writing. I was sharing what was happening in my life. I never imagined that years later, those random blog posts would become little pieces of my history.

Life Seemed So Simple Back Then

Looking at my old posts made me realize how simple my life seemed at that time. I wrote about food, travel, shopping, Korea, everyday life, little adventures, and random thoughts.

Nothing extraordinary. Just life. But now, those ordinary moments feel special because they're gone. It's strange how we don't always appreciate a particular chapter while we're living it. We only realize how meaningful it was when we look back years later.

Some of the things I complained about back then would probably seem so small compared with the things I'm dealing with now.

And I can't help but smile at the person I was.

Then I Discovered Something Was Missing

While searching through my old files, I came across something I wasn't expecting.

The backup of my old travel blog was gone.

Completely gone.

I searched through my files and folders, hoping I'd find a copy somewhere. I tried to remember where I might have saved it, but I couldn't find anything. It was almost as if the blog had never existed.

At first, I thought I would be devastated.

That blog contained years of travel stories and photographs. It was a record of places I'd been and experiences I'd had.

But strangely enough, I wasn't as sad as I thought I would be.

Because then I remembered who I was traveling with.

Some Memories Are Better Left in the Past

That old travel blog contained many memories of the years when I traveled with my ex-husband.

We went to places together.

We explored together.

We took photographs and documented our trips, probably thinking those moments would always be part of our future.

Back then, I wrote those travel posts with excitement. I didn't know that years later, I would look at those memories from a completely different perspective.

The trips happened.

The places were real.

The memories were real.

But the life attached to them no longer exists.

And maybe that's why losing the backup didn't hurt as much as I expected.

Perhaps some things are simply meant to disappear.

Maybe I don't need to recover every photograph, every story, and every piece of the past.

Maybe I don't need to keep every chapter just because it once mattered to me.

Some chapters can be appreciated for what they were and then left where they belong.

In the past.

Maybe I'm Finding My Way Back to Writing

And yet, here I am.

Writing again.

After all these years, I still find comfort in putting my thoughts into words.

Maybe that's what I have always loved about blogging.

It's not just about getting visitors, publishing posts, or trying to rank on Google.

Sometimes, blogging is simply a place where you can be honest.

A place where you can write when you don't know how to explain what you're feeling.

When your mind is full, you can write.

When you have no one to talk to, you can write.

When you're remembering something, you can write.

When you're hurting, you can write.

And sometimes, when life feels too heavy, writing gives you a quiet little space to breathe.

I Don't Know What Happens Next

I honestly don't know what will happen to this blog.

My domain is about to expire, and I don't know if I'll continue blogging regularly. Maybe I'll renew it. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll write every day for a while, or maybe I'll disappear again when life gets busy.

I don't know.

But for now, I'm here.

Going through my old posts.

Remembering the woman I used to be.

Smiling at some memories.

Laughing at others.

And quietly skipping the ones that still hurt.

Maybe that's okay.

Because I've learned that moving forward doesn't mean forgetting the past.

It simply means knowing which memories you want to carry with you and which ones you're finally ready to put down.

I don't need to recover every lost post.

I don't need to find every missing photograph.

I don't need to recreate the life I once had.

Some memories can remain exactly where they are.

And perhaps this blog can become something different now.

Not just a record of the life I once lived, but a place where I can document the life I'm still creating.

Maybe this isn't really me going back.

Maybe I'm simply finding my way forward—one post at a time. ❤️

Learning to Let Go of One-Sided Friendships

I used to chase friendships. I used to be the one who reached out, checked in, made an effort, and tried to keep people close. But when I realized that I was the only one who truly cared, I stopped chasing.

People can do things for others that they can’t seem to do for me, and I’ve learned not to take that personally anymore. I simply choose to let people go.

I no longer force connections, beg for attention, or question my worth just because someone doesn’t value me the same way I value them. If the friendship is meant to be, it will never feel like I’m the only one fighting to keep it alive.

Sometimes, letting people go isn’t giving up. it’s choosing peace, self-respect, and knowing when to stop pouring from an empty cup.

I still care, but I’ve learned that caring doesn’t mean I have to keep chasing. Some people are meant to stay, while others are simply meant to be a lesson. And I’m finally okay with that. ❤️

Is Blogging Still Worth It? My Struggle as a Blogger and Digital Creator

Life has been so busy these past few days that I almost forgot I still have blogs to manage.

I even came close to losing my hosting about a month ago, and honestly, I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep it this month either. Life hasn't been going particularly well these past few months, and sometimes just keeping up with everything feels exhausting.

There are moments when you simply have too many things happening at the same time.

Learning to Ask for Help

Asking for help has never really been my thing.

Even at work, my coworkers sometimes have to remind me that I'm not alone and that I don't have to do everything myself.

I'm the type of person who usually tries to figure things out on my own. I'll struggle with something, try different solutions, and keep going until I finally manage to fix it.

So when I actually ask someone for help, they know I really need it.

It's not easy for me to admit that I can't handle everything by myself.

Trying to Become a Digital Creator

While trying to keep up with my blogs, I've also been working on establishing myself as a digital creator on Facebook.

It's still a long way to go.

At the time I wrote this, I needed to reach 60,000 minutes of views to qualify for the stream ads requirement I was working toward. I've been creating Reels and doing some live streams to increase my watch time, but I wasn't even halfway there yet.

Still, I kept going.

Thankfully, some of my friends and coworkers have been incredibly supportive. Some of them even offered to sponsor small prizes for the games I play during my live streams.

They told me they enjoy listening to me because I do most of the talking.

Well... that's certainly one thing I'm good at! 😂

Give me a live stream and I'll probably find something to talk about.

Blogging vs. Vlogging

But all of this made me think about something I've been asking myself for quite some time:

Is blogging still worth it?

There was a time when blogging was everywhere. People wrote about their daily lives, travels, food, experiences, opinions, and almost anything else they wanted to share.

Then social media changed everything.

Facebook became huge. Then came YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Reels, and livestreaming. Vlogging and short-form video became the new trend, and suddenly writing a blog didn't seem as exciting anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if blogging has already become a thing of the past.

I've spent years writing.

I've written about my experiences, places I've visited, things I've bought, food I've tried, people I've met, and all the little moments that happened throughout my life.

So should I just move on?

Should I abandon my blogs and throw away all those years of writing because video is now more popular?

Maybe Blogging Isn't Dead After All

The truth is, I don't think I'm ready to give it up.

Yes, blogging has changed.

Yes, social media and video have taken much of the attention.

But there are still people who search Google for answers, read personal experiences, look for recipes, research products, plan trips, and want detailed information that a short video can't always provide.

And maybe that's where blogging still has a place.

Perhaps I don't need to choose between blogging and vlogging.

Maybe I can do both.

I can write a blog post and turn parts of it into a Reel. I can share an old story on Facebook. I can make a short video about something I've written about. One piece of content can live in different places.

Instead of throwing away years of writing, maybe I just need to find a new way to use it.

After all, those years weren't wasted.

They're my stories.

They're my memories.

And they're still mine to tell.

So, no...

I don't think I'm ready to give up blogging just yet.

Maybe blogging didn't die when vlogging became popular.

Maybe it simply changed.

Odiongan Town Fiesta: Kanidugan Festival 2023

Well, as I have mentioned in my previous post, the Kanidugan Festival was moved to the 10th of April to give way or to respect the holy week. We are requested to join the town parade for a small compensation, the town parade started at eight o'clock in the morning it was epic actually because when we arrived the street was already closed, so we have no choice but to walk to the assembly area and it was just right on time that when I arrived at the elementary school, the parade was just about to start. I wasn't able to find my coworkers, so I joined with the LGU family whom I am friends with, and when we went out, I found my co-workers standing in the corner so I  left the line, and joined them.

Anyway, the parade was spearheaded by the municipal officials, followed by the municipal employees, it was actually kind of boring to just walk, so I created my own world and my own dance steps, haha. I asked my workmates to dance with me, but they are kind of shy to do it, so I have to do it alone, until I went up front and met the employees from MS who were I think also bored walking and they are dancing in their own way while complaining that the drum beats were too sad to follow.

 

It was fun being included in the parade, but it was quite boring because you can't see and enjoy the Kanidugan Festival, especially the street dancing. I decided to go on Facebook live, showing what is happening around me, and talking to my workmates and even to my viewers, and with that, I wasn't able to take a lot of pictures.

The town parade took longer than expected, because of the street dancing, we have to stop many times to wait for them, When we are almost near the starting point, I walked back to find my batchmates, who are at the end of the parade, it was a bad decision because they are that quite far and it would be a better decision if I waited until we reached the endpoint.

Well, when I arrived at my batchmate's location they were already planning to leave the parade because it is almost ten o'clock in the morning and our reunion program will soon start, so when we reach a certain point, we exited.

Kanidugan Festival 2023: Batch Night

The town fiesta celebration or the Kanidugan Festival this year was moved on April 10, to make way of the holy week, but the celebration started already on April 1 through the opening of the Agri Trade Fair and Agency night in the evening, followed by the Barangay Night and the finals of Odiongan Got a Talent on April 2.

[Photo grabbed @ Odiongan Public Information Office]

On April 3, there was a Paraw Regatta and Asi Poem and Song Contest in the coast of Tabing-Dagat, but unfortunately I am not able to see it, because we have worked and we've been busy preparing the Odiongan Plaza for the Batch Night.  VM was the organizer, so the Legislative was in-charge for everything, it took us one whole day to prepare and arranged the tables and chairs, because of many changes.  It was almost six in the evening when I decided to go home and prepare for the evening, we were requested to attend and help and I was designated to be one of the usherette of the event.

I wasn't able to eat dinner anymore, because when I went home I immediately did the household chores, feed my cats and took a bath. When, I checked my phone a co-worker is already looking for us, usherettes, because people are already arriving, so I immediately asked my sister to transport me to town.

[Photo grabbed @ Odiongan Public Information Office]

The event was jumped packed, it was full of people. It was actually tiring ushering people to their table and friends, especially some visitors doesn't want to do the shortcut because they were shy to passed by other batch or tables, with this I have to walk longer distance so I could bring them to their table, and whenever I have a chance I visited the table of my own batchmates, sit there for few minutes, took pictures and move back to the gate to guide new people.

The main attraction of the event was  the performance of four different bands,  it was a night full of fun and laughter, seeing each other bring back old memories, and me feeling busy and happy seeing old classmates, I forgot to take pictures of the said event, haha.

Losing and Grieving the Death of a Friend

Friendship is important because it helps us build connections with people who share our values or interests. I have this one friend (M) from high school, we are closed to the extent she took the same course with me at college. We both have the same scholarship, you can't see us apart, we ate lunch together, we study together and  we took the same route home and sometimes when we are a little short with our allowance we walked home, even if we are both wearing heels.

She had already maybe my best friend, I can tell her my problems at home, my crushes back then and everything that is disturbing me. We are closed since we are together since high school, but not too close, because we do still have other friends in the group. We grow apart, right after college graduation, she got married and have one child, she withdraw herself in the society and so did I. We lost contact and don't communicate often, there's Facebook, but internet in the Philippines wasn't that good that time. Maybe because we have both been busy with our own life that we forget our friendship existed.

For me, my friends are for lifetime, but I am kind of person that if you don't initiate to contact or to talk with me, I will not either. Chatting was too burdensome for me, unless I enjoyed what we are talking or I like talking to you. Some of my friends can attest to that, because it comes to a point they have to tag me, so I will be notified and participate in the conversation.  A work friend actually complained once, that I respond so late, because she will chat in the morning, I replied at night time already, LOL.

Anyway, four months ago a high school classmate, messaged me about a letter circulating in their barangay, apparently a friend's aunt is doing a fund raising for my friend (M), the content of the letter shocked me and I was in disbelief and I immediately messaged my friend M, if it is true.  She said yes, they were fundraising, but she didn't elaborate the results and she even almost denied having a grave illness, she just told us, she is sick and in medication, she said she is doing better, the medicines she is taking is effective. As a friend, I shared her situation with some of my other friends and to our classmates, we helped her in our own little way and then life became so busy, four months had passed the biggest shocked of my life came, when her husband changed his profile picture and condolences and sympathy flooded in his wall. I panicked and was in disbelief, I immediately contacted her husband, what happened and how's my friend doing, and the biggest heartbreak this year almost made me weak.

My friend (M) died, she succumbed to her illness. Apparently, she lied to everyone, she keeps her illness to herself, to her family. She hid it so well, that we know nothing. It was painful, guilt and regrets wrapped me up, I was like a robot, functioning but with no feelings, or I functioned but not so well, it was too heavy to carry, I would like to cry, but there are no tears running down from my eyes.  Light headed, I immediately told our friends and classmates in high school and college what happened to M, they were sad too and almost in disbelief, because they also thought she is doing well like she portrayed she was,  we raised funds and I actually asked those who message me personally to extend help if they can, because M's family is financially exhausted, good thing the response was positive.

At work, I became so silent which is unusual to everyone, they tried to cheer me up and even some of my other friends tried to make me laugh, one of our bosses sent a stolen photo of someone in my inbox, for me to smile and be happy.  It was, actually, a friend and workmate's birthday that day, it was a happy occasion, but it wasn't for me. There was no way for me to celebrate when I am sad and in grief, later that afternoon she invited us to go out, as one of our bosses wanted to treat her somewhere nice, I went with them, because I would like to breath and to forget my grief. It helps, was able to feel a little bit better and was able to breath from my sadness.

Anyway, are you going to believe me if I say, I think I already felt something is wrong with my friend. I initially wanted to share our picture together taken in Baguio, but I didn't because my immediate bosses were going to Baguio and I was thinking they might think I am trying to show off, that I have been there too.  For two nights before she died, I think she visited me too, and I never told this to anyone, because I don't want to be judge and called weird, but the night before when lights were already off I saw a white silhouette of a woman in our room, just in the foot of my bed, her hair was a bit curl, she is healthy looking and her aura isn't that scary, I look at her without even a thought who she was, it was only when my friend died that I realized, maybe it was her who visited me at home to say goodbye since we didn't even see each other for a long time, we went to his father's funeral last year, but she wasn't around, or maybe she hid from us.

Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, and prevent loneliness, but I think I wasn't a good friend at all. I wasn't able to give those to her while she is sick and dying, wasn't able to give her love, time and effort. She hid her illness very well, she was already given a few months to live, yet she didn't tell us, she said she is ok and going stronger, she is already bedridden, but she said, she can already walk and do small things.

Some of our friends, told me to let go that maybe our friend (M), wanted it to be like that, she doesn't want us to be sad and don't want us to cry, they said I should be happy because our friend (M) was already free from her sickness, she was already happy in heaven. Shall I really do that?

Love your Life, Love your Family

Drinking is not bad if it is occasionally done, but if you are doing it every night, it isn't healthy anymore. Some men transform when they are drunk, they hurt their wife and kids, they say hurtful things, which cannot be forgotten by a young mind. Please remember, drinking doesn't only ruin your body, but it can also ruin your family.

[Photo courtesy of Terje Sollie/pexels.com]

Always put in mind that in the end, it is your family who will suffer. Do you think your drinking buddies will take care of you, if you get sick and hospitalized? Are they gonna help you feel the pain you are experiencing if you get terribly sick? The answer is NO. They might even laugh at you for being weak and vulnerable and worst maybe they can't even visit you in the hospital eh.

So please, don't drink if you don't know how to control it. Love your life, love your family. Value your friends, but value your family more.

The Harvest from my Father's Backyard Garden

Growing your own food isn't a rocket science, it is very simple when you have the desire and will to do it. As a kid, I grew up with my family doing backyard gardening, to sustain our daily needs at home.  We planted string beans, egg plants and ladies fingers, which became very helpful to us, because having a harvest means free meal or viand.

Today, my father still do backyard gardening and it was very beneficial to us in health and somehow in our food expenses, as it saves us from buying fruits and vegetables which are present in my father's garden.  Growing vegetables at home does cost a bit on seeds and supplies, as we don't have a large backyard, most often my parent's plant vegetables on empty cans and bags.

The other day, my father came home  with ripe papayas after tending his garden, as we still have the pineapple he harvested the previous day, and the bananas he harvested a week ago, which was keep in our old fridge to ripe, we took photo of it, amaze what a simple gardening can do.

Since we can't eat them all, my father brought some of the fruits to his employer's house to share, which he always did.  They were very kind and helpful to us, and even treat my family just like no other. When my grandmother died, they're the one who lend us a large sum of money without batting an eyelashes, so we could all go home for my grandmother's funeral, they also give work to my father, even it wasn't needed, so it is just right to share our blessings to good people, right?

Surviving Budget Cuts at Work

A few months ago, I have decided to quit my job, because I have enough. I felt unappreciated and it is already toxic at work, I am not feeling happy on what I am doing already. Those who know me, knew what I mean.

Anyway, quitting made me my niece caregiver which isn't a problem at all, but when I quit working, my father lost his carpentry job, his employer went to Manila for personal matters. With this, my younger sister work alone to support the family of five, it was not too burdensome  at first, but as the day goes by, our finances is going to the drain, whatever small savings we have is slowly detoriating. My mother started to show signs of stress, short patience and always nagging and angry at everything, maybe because of the problem of budgeting.

One of my immediate supervisor at work, encourages me to return to the office by applying through the boss, with the problem arising at home, I did and to cut the story short I am able to work in the office with a different responsibilities and a bit different environment.

Working was great, there are few overtimes, but it was good. Past forward, election came and a lot of changes happened, the office had a budget shortage for wages of job orders, don't ask me the reason and how the budgeting is done because I don't know either.

Being good at your job doesn't matter, all job orders were lay-off and only a few or handful were ask to return first, those who hold a special place errr job. Right now, we are still waiting if we will be called/hired again and for the meantime I am jobless, I found a time to write again.

Odiongan Town Fiesta: Kanidugan Festival 2022

The pandemic made the world stops, it cleans busy roads and made people to stay home.  Anyway, after three years of not celebrating town fiesta, finally Odiongan was able to held one, simpler than the previous celebrations. Simpler in the sense, that there is no street dancing today and there is no Kanidugan Festival dance competition.

The highlights of today town fiesta is a float parade participated by clusters of barangays and some government agencies.  The town parade almost didn't take place because it rained that day, and it is still drizzling when it happened.

Well, I really have no plans of going to town and watch the float parade, but thinking it was a first for my niece, we did go to town for her to see the floats and people. We went there, when it was already starting and we decided to find a good spot and location where we can see the whole parade without skipping anything.

[ Some floats have dancers to make the parade merrier and festive.]

There are only few floats, there are more people and groups who joined the town parade, especially fraternities and organizations, there was a short program in the town plaza after, but we didn't see it anymore, we went home right after we saw the tail of the parade.

As you can see, the rain didn't stop the people from going out, because the parade was already a big event after three years of community quarantines, as you know Philippines is still not mask free, and maybe there are still unreported cases until today. Well, who  will have the guts to report you are sick, by the way? Even me, maybe I will not tell anyone I have symptoms when I know that you and your family will be isolated without food to eat. LOL

Gardening And Choosing The Best Garden Hose

Months after the pandemic started gardening and planting flowering plants became a new trend among homeowners and my mother was among those people who got addicted in planting and collecting flowering plants.

Day by day, my mother’s flower collections is increasing and getting bigger because my sister always bring home some cuttings from friends, members and colleagues. Then barter exchange became a trend in the Philippines, my mother bartered with our neighbors to have more plants in her garden and watering them become a tedious job for me and for my mother so buying an outdoor hose is a must for us, so I search for flexible and quality garden hoses online.  I found many options, but Eley water hoses caught my attention having many good reviews among buyers and users. It is dubbed as one of the best garden hoses as it excels in almost all aspects, strong and durable, light and flexible and can last a lifetime which mean we can save money from buying this kind of hose.

Eley water hose is also safe in drinking water, kink resistant and leakage free. The last garden hose we bought didn’t last long as it was cheap and not dependable.

 

A Sideline Fulltime Job Offer

A friend had contacted me this morning asking if I want to work a sideline job, he operates a courier service in Tablas and he needs an operator. Answering queries from clients and working with the riders. Actually, beforehand we already joked him to hire us (his friends) when his business prosper in the island, so I guess that is why he offered me a sideline job.

We talked about the operation, the service charge and etc., then when I accepted it, he asked how about my job which I replied the service is still new so it is not to busy yet, not too many client requesting for riders so it will not be a problem since there will be no meeting yet in the office too and I seldom stayed inside the office as I run various errands outside. He then said, he wanted someone to work just from home, to focus in the operation since he has no office yet, which I replied that he is needing full time operator and not a sideline job, which made him laugh (lol) for his mistake.

In the end I declined the job, since he can't figure out yet how much I am going to earn being an operator and what he need is actually a sideline fulltime (lol).

Busy Monday Morning Grind in the Office

Early morning today, while an officemate and friend brought the incoming communication in the office, aplogizes and asked me not to feel bad for not being allowed in their office, she said they were also told not to standby, before I was told by MJ not to do be there. I just smiled and says it is nothing. It was actually nothing, but then I felt something in my gut.

That day, before I was told. Big Boss saw me inside the office using my phone connected to the office wifi. I was there because my boss instructed me to open her email, download the proposal, their utility bills and have them printed,  I was there working and not just sitting like most normal workers do in our workplace (lol). I admit, that it is my norm to standby upstairs, but I only do it after working my ass of and when I am not busy or during lunch break, and even if I stayed there, I don't just sit and scroll. When I am requested upstairs to do something like going to other office to pick-up or bring documents I followed, and most of the time I offered to answer the telephone.

Anyway, my early errand for today is to do some grocery shopping and when it was completed brought them to my boss house together with the incoming communications they need for the zoom meeting.

When, I went to their home. My boss handed me an ecobag with six Chicken Luncheon meat inside, I was instructed that two of them was mine and then other four goes to the regulars, which made me thankful to her for the little gift.

I just seated in my seat when I received a new text on what to do, I combed my hair first and wipe my sweat before going outside again, I have been perspiring because of the hot weather outside.

It is lunch break right now and I am able to update my blog, I decided to buy and subscribe to magic data offered by Smart Communication so I can browse the internet without going and being connected upstairs when my boss asked me to do something online, and so I will not be mistaken too dilly dallying upstairs. Lol

Working in Skeletal Schedule

The local transmission and on-going contact tracing resulted for us to work in skeletal schedule; we worked three (3) times a day per week. At first, I didn’t like my schedule because my friend and I have a different work schedule, but upon realizing I will have a long weekend, I was happy with it.

The first two weeks was very tiring, because there are a lot of things to do on and off the office. My office mates, initially avoided being in contact with me, because they said I go out a lot running errands, so I might be a virus carrier without their knowing. To make things worse I was banned or asked not to go upstairs and stayed in the upstairs office too, it was fine because I can still go upstairs when Mam N was not around (lol), but just a week ago the office was totally closed for everyone with VM’s advice just to be safe, because two (2) government offices were in lock down because of positive cases among the employees.

We did some repacking of goods in the office, actually we helped. Everyone received a sack of rice from their bosses that day, except for me and as expected my office mates teases me a lot and I just smiled with them.

Broken Vessel: Where do I Belong?

Life had taught me a lot of lessons for thirty four years. I have been broken, I cried and I lost people. I lost more than half of my life, I smiled, and I laugh and give advice's when nobody even asked what I am feeling inside. I portrayed myself as a strong person, when the truth is I am weak.

My friends had been urging me to find someone again; they have been teasing me that I am kind of old already and I am being left behind by younger generation. They said dating me is called a rescue already; they have been always teasing me to someone whom they thought will be a good match which is fun at times, but mostly irritating.  Online dating, for then is just a waste of time.

Like normal human being I have crushes too, but my choice of person raised eyebrows and echoed laughter to my friends and workmates. Why? Whom am I attracted too? Oh well, I am attracted to guy who are feminine, yep you read it right and you are not mistaken. The last two people I have crushed with have three things in common their orientation, their intelligence and them being snob, but kind. They are pretty smart at a young age, they excel on their own chosen career, a teacher and a young doctor who is now pursuing further education after resigning as a health officer last year, and he actually made my stay in the office bearable.

Yes, intelligence attracts me first and the look will just follow. People might think, I became abnormal after being hurt, because my choice of person becomes fucked-up. Well, I don’t know I just don’t feel like having someone again, I am tired and it is hard for me to trust people and as I always said to my friends whenever they teased me it is better to be single than in a relationship, I have a lot of freedom to gush over the cute Korean actors and have crushes.

There is only one thing I hate about me, I am being too friendly and caring when I am comfortable with a person, which lead a friend and office mates to tease and misunderstood me. It was also the reason why I am always being hurt; I love and make friends so deeply. When my group of friends were not too busy at work and not dating yet, we have all the time in the world to talk in messenger, teasing and making fun of each other, but when pandemic and changes occurred I was left alone and boredom eats me, as my other group of friends were also busy raising their kids, they mostly talked about motherhood stories and their kids milestones, I still have single friends and we do talk at times loving the singleness and hating men, hahaha just kidding!

Where do I belong now? Should I just let myself eaten by the darkness together with the spooky stories I enjoyed reading or just be contented seeing those black and white shadows lurking around me? Anyway, one thing is for sure I am too needy and clingy that I forgot other people’s privacy!

Community Pantries in Odiongan Town

Almost a year after the pandemic the town of Odiongan recorded its first case of Covid-19. It was imported, and there was no panic because the positive case was isolated right away, but everything change almost a month ago when a local transmission occurred in the neighboring town, and then spread like a little fire in Odiongan town.

[Photo courtesy of Bong Gabutero de Villena]

There were already 86 cases, one death and lots of recoveries so far, but since the local transmission started government and other private offices were in skeletal work, some work from home as well, but those jobs that requires collecting of money and meeting a lot of clients everyday was halted until further notice while the contract tracing is still on-going.

[Photo courtesy of Jessa Famero Solano/Bulig sa Tabobo-an]

Filipinos are known to be hospitable and known to be resilient, with the current situation of the Philippines a community pantry emerged in Manila, neighboring cities and now even in Odiongan. Every barangay in the town has their own community pantry where anyone is free take food or household items they need and anyone could drop off whatever food/items they could donate.

The community pantry was a powerful idea of Maginhawa Community Pantry with a theme “Give whatever you can, take only what you need”

Stress 101: Worker’s Pass and Worker’s ID

I have been working as job order in the local government for more than a year already, but I have no worker’s ID.  It wasn’t required at work, and there wasn’t a memo saying we should get one or a memo requiring us to get one.  I have remembered one time, we went to the HR department to ask about it, but we are told the ID template has to be change so we should just wait for the new template. Then, there was a time we are allowed to get an ID after getting our employee number. I went to the photo shop one afternoon, but I wasn’t catered since I think the owner is already feeling lazy turning on the equipment, I was asked to return the next day, but given my busy life in the office running around for errands I never had the chance to return anymore especially the shop is not a walking distance from my work place.

Pandemic came, still no ID. A year after pandemic started, still no ID and then suddenly again a quarantine pass is needed to go to town. Having no ID I have asked my sister to get me a Worker’s pass if she get hers, but unfortunately she wasn’t able to get me a pass, because whoever releasing the passes in our barangay doesn’t believe I don’t have a worker’s ID. If you are government worker, an ID is enough to pass through the check point according the memo from above.

With this, we decided to rush an ID from the photo shop in town where our LGU is tied up. It was closed and currently not receiving clients, but since one of our workmate is their neighbour we just did it the easiest way, we send our details and photos online, as well as our e-signature. Guess, what my disappointment when I received my ID? The details at the back were wrong, my birthdate, parent’s address and phone number and the signature at the back was not mine.  I have told my workmate about it, and he was told that the shop will give me a new one, but when the new one came instead of being happy I feel so stress out even more, because it has the wrong Employee number! Seriously? The minor errors at the back of the new ID is bearable, but having the wrong Employee number stresses me out  tremendously, so I asked my sister if he can message the shop owner if he can print another ID for me and I will just pay for it, since there was a mistake on the new ID I have received.  Call me vain, but I can’t accept the fact that I have a wrong employee number; it was like I stole someone’s identity or license number if we are talking about a professional identification.

Anyway, I was given a Worker’s pass in our barangay before I am able to rant in my Facebook account. No replied yet from the shop owner. He might be busy or cannot be bothered with my problem.

 

Vice Mayor's Cup: The 50km Golden Race

Last Saturday, I woke up early and went to town before day light to help in the bike marathon sponsored by VM in celebration of his 50^th birthday.  It was a 50km bike race with five (5) categories; they were based on age group.

My office mates and I has their own designation in the marathon, I was assigned at the registration of the younger bikers (19 below) together with an older office mate.  We started the registration as soon we’ve done setting-up the tables and canopies. As expected from the pre-registration done a week ago, 19 below has more joiners,  I think we have around 45 young bikers.

Well, the bikers left five (5) minutes apart by category, and when everyone left to race we move our tables to the finished line, and since we still have ample time left before the bikers returned some of us went to the office to have a breakfast (a cup of coffee and pandesal with peanut butter) courtesy of an older office mate. The bikers returned early than expected, I had a trouble recording some of the bikers time in my category, not because they are too many, but because some bikers lost their numbers and it was hard to know who they are. You know what, I have raised this problem at the orientation asking if it is possible the bikers will also have number at their back, but we are told it will not be a problem because the bikers group will be there to help us, they will announced the number of approaching biker so we can hear and your guess is right as mine, it never happened when some bikers number were lost along the way.

There was instance I have to kneel just to see the number of approaching biker, that’s how hard to get the bikers numbers. Well, don’t ask for my partner because she is doing her own thing. Initially, she told me that she will record or video everything, but in one minute we all saw her becoming a medic, someone’s assistant and a caterer eerrr server, giving snacks to the bikers.

Anyway, the marathon ended well. We had a group picture, and when I returned to the table where left my documents they were nowhere to be found and then I overheard one of my office mate saying all the folders were keep in the container. The inner me is saying to check if my folder was there, but I am too tired to be bothered.

Monday came, and I was asked for my records as there are some bikers wanted to know their travel time, it turns it wasn’t in the container. Yep, it was missing and nowhere to be found. I already asked everyone, but no one is voicing out. It was a good thing, I have the habit of taking pictures of every important files. It was late in the afternoon when I was called by an older office mate, it turns out he has my folder, maybe he accidentally took it.

Covid-19: More than a Month of Enhanced Community Quarantine

It was been almost two months since our province was ordered to be in Enhanced Community Quarantine, lots of things had happened. The ECQ was extended for a month after 15 days of being under it, then General Community Quarantine came over for 15 days and on the 16th of May the GCQ will be modified.

On the first week of the Enhanced Community Quarantine everyone was still adjusting, no public transports, some restaurants, offices and other establishments were closed. After a week of ECQ all job orders in our office were asked to report to help in repacking of goods, but unfortunately I didn’t comply because it wasn’t that easy as 123, I have no quarantine pass and either my father because one member in a family is only allowed to go outside to buy food and medicines, my sister has the pass so she can easily buy milk and diapers for my niece as well as other necessities at home, I don’t know how to drive which means I have to walk 9 to 10 kilometres every day (back and forth), and I have a vulnerable mother and a baby niece in our home. There were a lot of PUM’s (Person under Monitoring) and PUI’s (Person under Investigation) at that time so their safety is my number one priority, as we cannot afford to get sick.

A week of ECQ (21th of April) helped came over from the barangay for the affected workers of the pandemic, my carpenter father received a bag of relief goods composed of 2.4 kilos of rice, 2 cans of sardines, 2 packed of instant noodles, 1 small can of corned beef, a packed of coffee, one sachet of bath soap and a laundry soap, within a family of five with four adult, the rice will be good for three meals or one day only, small help but it is better than nothing, and still a blessing to be thankful for.

A week after, my father received a relief good from the local government or from our municipality, inside the bag is about 7.2 kilos of rice, 4 cans of sardines, 2 cans of hot and spicy tuna, one kilo of dried fish with tomatoes.

The next day, my sister was also given a relief good, wait rephrase she went to the temporary barangay hall to collect a relief good, as the barangay is giving relief goods to every family or workers with family that wasn’t able to received yet. The bag has 5 cans of spicy sardines, 3 sachet of brown coffee and about 4.8 kilos of rice.

Then after two weeks, my sister had also her share of relief good from the municipal government which is composed of 7.2 kilos of rice, 4 cans of sardines, 1 can of corned beef and a can of spicy tuna, but hey that’s not all, there was also a kilo of dried fish, tomatoes and one piece of cucumber in a separate bag.

Don’t ask about me, I am not qualified to receive help because I don’t have my own family neither a husband (so mean), I wish they realized I am also human being capable of eating (joke).

Then nothing more, I mean no more relief goods from the local government, but my sister received groceries from their cooperative which I am not able to take pictures, as some of them were already eaten/ cooked before I know it.

When the pandemic and ECQ started, three of us stopped working, luckily we had a continued wages with the order of the national government, my monthly wages cannot raise a family and spending on a baby’s milk and diapers, our budget wasn’t enough, but a little something is better than nothing at all.

We are in provincial rate, but the prices of commodities in our province are much more expensive than the commodities you can buy in Manila.

Anyway would like to say, thank you to our Mayor and to other local officials for the help (relief goods) during the ECQ.

The Irony of Life - I wish I Didn't Wish

Life is really so ironic, that's why to enjoy things while they are good and just be strong when things are not good.  Looking back, almost seven years ago I felt being left behind, my friends and classmates were already professionals, some of them were teachers, nurses, engineers and etc., while me was just a wife and a blogger who earned from my own little life.  I am happy, but secretly I want to be like them, I want to have a career, I want to be a professional too.

Fast forward, today I am professional like I wanted to be, but I am not happy. I lost everything I had when I wish to be like them, regrets are late and I can't turn back the time nor wake up like it was just a dream. Life was really so ironic, me wanting more made me lost everything. Indeed, you can't really have a cake and eat it too!

Honestly, there are times depression is eating me in, the desire of wanting to reset my life and start from the very start again is bugging me. I wanted to correct the bad choices I make, and to avoid the wrong people I have met in my so called life, but the sad truth resetting my life only means dying because time machines were not actually real.