Every night I always had a dream but most of the time I forgot what is it after going to the bathroom to pee. I have been blogging my dreams but due to intermittent connection I didn't bother documenting it again.
Anyway, since I was young I knew I was an old soul. I knew I was born before but I just don't know when and how I live my life and how many times I was born. When I met an accident when I was young, I was hit and run-over by motorcycle I have recollection on how I live my life as a kid, it was like they were flashback right on my eyes and then all I remember I was going down in a spiral and I woke up asking for a water. I have never told anyone about it because I have thought it was normal.
Moreover, I always have recurring dream of being in a familiar place when in reality I have never been there and I can't remember the place in my dream. I have dreamed often too being a child living in a different planet, I see fires, burning city, flying metal objects just like how the city in Jean Claude Van Damme's movie Universal Soldier I didn't think about it that much maybe because it was just created by my brain when I was asleep.Growing up, I enjoyed reading mystery, horror and metaphysical stories. I am fascinated with the theory of reincarnation, I can spend my whole day reading stories about it, lately I have been reading new stories again. It was been my long wish to do past life regression but I just don't know how to find people that could help me with it. I search about how to do it alone and last night before going to sleep when everything is silent I tried to do it, it was hard for me to concentrate because it is either my hand felt itchy or my foot does, after trying so hard I saw a vision, I have seen a yellow flower in a vase in a door to the balcony (maybe that's why I prefer yellow flower than the red ones), dark dirty water seeing it from below, a hospital bed then I felt anxious so I went out the imaginary door and rest to an imaginary chair. When I went in the door again, I saw a train coming, I have heard its sound, I am in a station, it wasn't the present era, it was in sepia, the train looks like running through a steam engine there was a lot of people rushing I was feeling frantic because I couldn't see myself, I want to see myself on this period and then I saw a beautiful sophisticated woman wearing sophisticated black dress with a black hat just like how Audrey Hepburn was, she has pearl earrings and she was very beautiful white female like a celebrity, then my vision hop seeing an Asian small old man sitting at the corner of his hospital bed, he is wearing a hospital pajama and as if he is waiting for someone, a visit from family maybe but there was a thought that he is all alone then I came back feeling tired and empty, I fell asleep instantly.
[Photo courtesy of Hoang Le/pexels.com]
There are times there are familiar people in my dreams but in reality they are not existing in my present world and there are times there are people I know in my present life but they have different face in my dream.
Fear of Snake
I am very afraid of snake just imagining it getting near me I cringe. Not so long ago I dreamed of being a beautiful woman with a long black hair with an olive skin living in a tribe wearing a traditional tribal clothing adorned with stones or bones in my forehead, neck and clothing. It feels like I am about to marry a chieftain or son of a chieftain but I don't know what happened, the woman in my tribe standing next to me is jealous of me, in present life she is an older cousin. On that dream I saw myself and her lying in a bed made of hay and a black snake was crawling underneath and black out, I woke up with a fear like there was a snake in my bed. It was like we are executed by a snake bite or we are chosen through a snake... ah dunno what is it!
Fascinated with the Sea
Since I was a child I am fascinated seeing the sea, I always wish that the jeep I rode every afternoon to home will traverse the road near the sea, I felt ecstatic and happy seeing the sea but the truth was I don't know how to swim and I never learned how to do it no matter how I tried. I am also afraid going to the deep part of the sea I guess it has connection of me seeing a dark dirty water last night, maybe on my previous life I drowned at the sea or in a pond. What is interesting when I was sixteen years of age I almost drowned with my classmate in a river.
I have read from other story tellers that there are times things happened like they happened in the past, so I guess I died from drowning when I was sixteen years old on my past life. What do you think?
Familiarity with the Jantar Mantar
When J and I went to India, specifically in Jaipur (Jantar Mantar) I frantically told him "I have been here, I saw this already!" when it was the first of me seeing it. I cannot recall seeing it in movies nor in photo, I have remember myself walking around the Sundials climbing with one of them to see the stars. When we are in India, I am always mistaken a local of the country.
Out of Tuned Music
Many people who knew me knows that I don't know how to sing, I am out of tuned but there is part of me who believes that on my past life I was a good singer but I cursed it, I wonder if it has relation to the beautiful woman in the train station.
Hospital and Balcony
Growing up I am scared of going to a hospital, furthermore meeting a doctor alone. I was also scared of heights and looking over a balcony, when I was in grade school I remember how I felt sick looking down from the third floor and I also remember how I felt cold feet every time I look down below the balcony of J's apartment in Korea, I was scared of falling and I always felt like throwing up whenever I looked down I guess it has to do with the balcony and the old man I saw in his hospital pajama, did I committed suicide at a balcony on that life?I have a lot of questions and I wonder how many lives did I live, which of my dreams are true and are all of my visions are real? It was said your birthmarks was the cause of your death on your past life, I have one in my forehead and there is something at the back of my head and I have a birthmark in the right side of my body too... I sometimes wonder if these are bullet or arrows point of entry.
