These past few days, I spend most of my time reading true ghost stories and sleeping, yep, I am back to my old habit of reading supernatural stories and reading my day to day horoscope. I have been away for a few months, so I was overwhelmed of many stories to read online. To those who don’t know me yet, my likes are contradicting to each other. I believe in compassion and caring with other people, but I love mystery thriller/suspense and dark themes in movies/books. I have a different mindset and I have sensitivity in me, I can feel other people’s emotions and it is killing me because it seems I can read a bit what is on their mind or feel their emotions at that moment, I think it was one of the reasons why I have social anxiety.

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Hence, I already knew what other people’s feeling before they can even speak and to those who know me well, they knew that I seldom stay still, be serious and looked into people faces when conversing because I knew when they are impress or not despite their smiling faces, which actually most of the time irritates my family, they asked me to stop  doing it, which is I am trying to do recently, part of it I think is being shy and not being confident.

Honestly, there are times I can foresee things without knowing it, before J and I parted ways. I have already feel what would happen and what is the six months of travel all about, he actually got pissed off of me taking a lot of photos a few hours before our departing flight, even saying, I act weird that as if we are not going to see each other anymore, and yep we didn’t anymore.

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Just like what happened a few days ago, I have already felt it (me being restless) and I already expected what will happen, but I resisted and waited for a friend to speak up. Anyway, I woke up in a wrong side of bed today where the black hole is eating me up again. It was like I went back to my old self feeling blue, but when I accidentally got a long cut in my upper arm early in the morning from a protruding wire, I have returned into my senses that I am still alive and my cut is painful. 😭

Today, I am trying to do some focus and do some blogging chores I have not been doing since I live in my made-up world.  You know what, I wished, I can tell everyone that there are just times I don’t feel like talking or responding to messages, which is rude to other people, but this is me finding solitude and peace within myself (re: my unread and not responded messages/comments from friends and tourism classmates).

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Well, RBM will do some falls hunting out of town on Sunday, but unfortunately I can’t go with them because it is Thanksgiving Sunday on November 25th, priorities matters and don’t know if I can do some hiking again when I have class schedule on weekends too.