Learning to Stand Alone: Life After My Father’s Passing
When my father died, we lost not just a loved one—we lost a pillar of our home. There were many changes in our way of living. We had to learn to do things on our own, tasks that had always been his responsibility. Looking back, I realize why he often told us to be independent—perhaps he knew he wouldn’t be with us for long.
When my father was alive, we cooked using firewood because he always brought it home from the valley. But now, we rely on charcoal, gas, and, when we’re lucky, whatever wood we can find. The gas that used to last three months now seems to run out much faster. Adjusting to these changes has been difficult, but we manage.
The other day, we were assigned to help clean the town in preparation for the upcoming Provincial Athletic Meet. My group worked along the beach, where we found plenty of driftwood. I thought about collecting some after our cleanup, knowing how valuable it would be for cooking. But by the time I returned to the coast after work, most of the wood was already gone. Only small sacks remained. I gathered what I could and took them home. At least, for the next four days, we are assured of firewood to cook our meals.
Losing my father meant losing many things, but it also taught us resilience. We are learning to stand on our own, just as he wanted us to.
My Father and His Hypertension Attacked
It was one mid-afternoon at work when my mother told me that they were going to town, for a check-up. My father woke up feeling unwell, and upon checking in our barangay health center, his blood pressure was higher than normal it spiked up to 220/100, which is already a hypertensive crisis, and immediate action was necessary so he was given a referral to the town center.
As expected there was a long line of people, and after waiting for several minutes, he finally got to the receiving person where he was interviewed and asked when the personnel took his referral, I felt a bit worried because I could see distress in her face, she moves quickly and immediately checked my father’s blood pressure and then inform the public doctor about it. My father was given a small tablet to take, and while waiting I asked about my father’s situation, then I was given another tablet and instructed to give it to my father after a few minutes and to inform her when the time had passed, so she can check his blood pressure again.
[Photo courtesy of Thirdman/pexels.com]
People come and go, and yep we are still there, my father’s blood pressure was still a bit high. Anyway, my father was given a referral to undergo a laboratory test, and upon looking at the referral with many checks in it, my mind started to calculate how much are we going to spend to have it done.
It was a good thing the kind and jolly doctor was very friendly, and yes he was the doctor who I spoke with regarding my health issue. He asked my father if he had money, and I replied we are poor, haha. The doctor jokingly says, maybe my father is poor, but I am not which I laugh it out, and says I am poor too.
To make it short, the doctor instructed us what to do and where to go. We went to the public hospital right after, to find out what we needed to avail the service, and since my father need’s to do fasting, we decided to have it done next week without knowing the laboratory and the office is opened during weekends.
Sick and Dealing with Stress, Anxiety and Toxicity
There has just been so much stress for me these past few weeks, it was all maybe collected from different reasons, stress from work, at home from people, etc., It was tiring already dealing with immaturity from my other workmates who didn’t know how to stop throwing jokes, it was toxic and it made me sick. My body couldn’t handle the stress and anxiety, I remember experiencing the same thing a few years back when I quit my job.
When I went to the center for a check-up a few weeks ago, I was told to visit a specialist and have some tests. I didn’t follow the referral due to different factors and being afraid to do it, haha. It stopped, but when it became toxic again at work, I was not drinking enough water, I seldom used the toilet, been drinking colas, it all started again it felt like my body was deteriorating.
[Photo courtesy of Pedro Figueras/pexels.com]
I went to an herb doctor the other day after much deliberation on what to do, where I was told I got bewitched by an unseen being, was told it was a kind one, but I was asked to offer a white male chicken which is hard to find, no wonder I have been looking to my cousin’s white chicken (not pure) a few days ago before visiting a herb doctor, as if my instinct already know what do I need, lol.
At home, I decided to do herbal treatment, I looked for grass, boiled it, and made some tea out of it. I also bought vitamins to boost my immune system, slowly I am feeling better, but I was feeling weak and my emotions were low, wasn’t feeling happy anymore, and I was losing my vibe and myself. I am becoming aloof, distant, unobservant, and cold. The truth is, I decided to establish my boundaries and never care at all about what they said, I tried not to react as possible, I held my emotions and was just thankful to have a good support system, I have this one friend who understands my ordeal and who always advise me what to do.
Anyway, I don’t wanna dwell with me being sick, because I believe we have our own timeline, if we will die, we will die, no excuses.