There was a short drama last Christmas eve that disturbed the celebration, someone short-circuited after drinking too much, went emotional and flared up. Instead of feeling happy that time, we have been busy looking after my mother who had a panic attacked, I went too nervous and scared.

Anyway, as I looked back on Christmas day it wasn’t bad after all.  Contrary to other Christmases where I bought myself, my own gifts, I have received gifts from friends and relatives, not just one but three gifts.

It was on the 23rd when we are eating dinner when someone call out my name to buy ice pack, I was a bit disturbed because it was me who has to go outside when I am not near the door since it was me who is called, before I can even frown at  the person outside (lol), she handed me two packs of something into my surprise (a special barquiron and Ube Piaya) which is two of my favorite PH native delicacies, was told it was for me which made me too thankful.  It was an unexpected gift from a second cousin’s wife, because were really not too close.

On Christmas day, my sister’s bf came home with three Toblerone’s in hand after being outside.  One of them was given to me, it turns out, our youngest aunt gave it to him for us. I always feel happy and joyful every time I received Toblerone on Christmas day because it reminds me of the time where it was just a dream for the little me.  When I was a kid, I have wished to receive Toblerone too on Christmas day when another kid got it as a white gift from his relatives one Christmas night. During those times Toblerone had been just for rich kid/families and for a dirt poor like us, all we can afford is the cheap chocolates in the store (lol).

Anyway, it is not a secret that I love chocolates and cats, but only few people know that I love collecting pens and notebooks, most of my money in Korea were spent in Watsons and yep Daiso, that is why half of my junks in Korea where notebooks, booklets and art materials.  That is why I am so ecstatic when a friend and his little son handed me a notebook journal as a Christmas gift.

Honestly, I seldom received gifts from other people and I think it is the first time I received a Christmas gift from friends and with that thank you so much!

Christmas is a time of celebration, the time where people should be merry and happy.  On the 24th it was my late grandma’s birthday so I lit a candle for her while everyone is busy cooking for the Christmas food, I thought everything is going to be well, not until something happened. It was shocking, I don’t know if I should feel nervous first or should I cry first. It feels so bad that I want to escape the moment, I want to run and never come back. I am tired, I wanted rest.

We decided to sleep early and didn’t wait for 12 AM anymore, when I wake up it is already morning and the fear, the sadness is still there lingering. I hate drama, all I wanted is peaceful living that is why when something happened between my sis bf and other relatives, I decided to withdraw from their drama and be at peace.

Well, it is Christmas day today and it feels empty, I went to church in the early morning and the basis of the sermon was from Luke 2: 1-7, with the theme Jesus – The Reason for the Season, where Pastor E talks about the birth of Jesus Christ and what is Christmas all about, he said that Christmas is a time of Celebration, Proclamation and Demonstration. He also said, we cannot celebrate Christmas if there is no joy in our hearts, so I guess there isn’t joy in mine.

Pastor E then shared a short story and afterwards asked if how is our heart doing, if is there is also something hard in our heart that we cannot forgive, open our hearts and be good with our brothers and sisters.

Anyway, after church most of our relatives went to our house for Christmas food. As expected, it was a bit of chaos with little children playing around and adults talking to each other, and it was decided that the clan will have the annual New Year’s party.

Christmas Day is not red or green, it is blue. #ChristmasBlues