Not really feeling well since yesterday, wake up with a bad dream yesterday.  On my dream I am having a word fight with someone (an ajumma) which is in reality a woman neighbor I am good terms with since it was the mother of my friend in grade school, I was so angry in my dream so I think I gnashing my teeth while sleep that I woke with a swollen gums, it looks like my lower tooth cuts through it. Actually, I didn’t noticed that I have blister in my gums until inspected through it last night, my neck hurts too and it is hard to chew, my tonsil is inflamed from drinking icy pineapple juice in the cold weather. I was feeling dizzy so I drink glasses of pineapple juice, thinking the my blood pressure went up suddenly.

[Photo courtesy of werner22brigitte/pixabay.com]

My gums felt a little better after I gargled warm water with salt but the discomfort is still here and the cold weather doesn’t help to make me comfortable today especially with head hurting.

Anyway,  my dream yesterday was so bad that I felt so angry. I really don’t know how the fight started all I know I am already having a word fight with an ajumma, I went home and it was already a bit dark, found my mother and other people in a cottage in the middle of the field, then I saw the weird color big moon rise up in the sky, gray clouds was partly covering the moon then I don’t know how my dream hop in to another location, we are walking in the street and it suddenly rains and we hurriedly look for a shade under the cogon grass and then my dream went to another location, found myself inside a store/pharmacy buying something, my mother came wanting me to buy something but since I already paid in the counter, we decided to do it next time and my dream ended seeing us standing in the aisle near the door looking at the counters and then when I wake up my gums feel weird already.

When it rains, it pours. This saying isn’t new, lot of things happens within the clan in a week, it wasn’t that long when my blood rise to the roof and then one of my older aunt had a high blood attack just a week ago, she almost didn’t make it if she didn’t crawled to their porch to call for help. The first relatives who help says my aunt was already icy cold and her blood pressure is soaring to the roof that cause her headache and tremendous vomiting. When I went to their house, she was not in good shape anymore she looked very helpless and very sick, they were getting ready bringing her to the hospital after long deliberation with my aunt. It turns out she doesn’t want to be brought in the hospital and just cried silently but since she is too weak she was rushed to the hospital right away where she was confined for a few days.

Not long after, another aunt had a high blood attack I have heard of it after my cousin’s wife bought an ice pack, I went to my aunt house which is just beside us, she is lying on their sofa chair with leaves on her temples. I have ask what happened then a cousin informed that our aunt had a high blood attack and there isn’t medicine for first aid, upon knowing what medicine they need I immediately went home, there are some aspirin in our home, they were one of my mother’s maintenance medicine but since she developed rashes while taking them she stopped taking those medicines.

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A younger cousin is set to wed in a few a months but it looks there is a chance it won’t take place because of unforeseen issues that will affect a lifetime.

Anyway, today a very sad news came. A younger pregnant cousin who married a few months ago had an ultrasound done in town and they have found out the baby in her belly has no heartbeat anymore… I don’t know much details since it just happened a little while this afternoon but as what I have heard she will be brought to the hospital before we went to town to shop.

Well, while I am creating this blog post I am hearing some yelling and glasses being thrown and broken into pieces, it looks like a neighboring couple was having a couple fight… ahm dunno…

It was been almost a month since my last update on this blog, where have I been? Well,  I have been nursing myself at home, I have not been feeling well lately it feels like my organs are not working. I have been disturb with my aching head and maybe if I didn’t realized that I am killing myself slowly I will not be back into shape. It started after eating crabs in coconut milk, at first I have thought food intolerance strikes again, headache and non-stop vomiting. I have bought blood pressure monitor for my mother and with me insisting to my sister to take my blood pressure we found out my blood pressure isn’t normal, I have monitor if for few days and it begin to slowly went down but my diastolic pressure is still high than normal. As what I have read from webmd.com the diastolic blood pressure number or the bottom number indicates the pressure in the arteries when the heart rests between beats. This  is the time when the heart fills with blood and receives oxygen. I think I over work my heart that my arteries are struggling that my blood pressure went to stage 2 of hypertension.

My kitty cat waking me up when I was sick

Anyway, I was told by a cousin that the village health nurse advice that I should see a doctor soon and have medical test done because my blood pressure isn’t good nor doing good but instead of following the advice to see a doctor I made sure to exercise daily, eat non-fatty food, less salt and caffeine. Honestly, I have been eating blunt food, no taste at all. I guess I have been paying for pigging out and eating sugary, greasy and oily food with J a few years back, we ate like pig those times like there will be no more tomorrow.

It was quite ironic, I have been abusing myself so I’ll die young and escape life but when I was near death I want to live. If I didn’t push myself out of bed and started working with the stationary bike at home I maybe ended hospitalized and had a stroke like my mother. The thing is one day, I woke up with a headache, sleepy and it feels like my blood isn’t circulating, my legs are inflamed, my body is retaining water and when I exercise, I perspired a lot and was able to breath well and my body felt warm and lighter.

So today, I have been trying to take care of myself, live a healthy life, not to overthink of life and be happy on my own little way amidst of depression and nervous breakdown when things are not going well around me.

My mother and most of my relatives suffered from UTI,  even my toddler cousins does so when I felt sick I thought of the worst having kidney stones, someone thought me to think that way so when it was lighter than I thought it will be relieving (lol).

Anyway, I took plenty of vitamin C and drink a lot of water to flush the infection in my urinary tract; I maybe got it from eating salty and processed foods, junk foods  and not peeing when I have to pee especially when I have to get up at night just to use the bathroom. I was just so lazy to get up and scared of the dark. Lol

The other day my sister complained of stomach pain and not able to pee while the two of us were in town, I almost brought her to the hospital when she kneel in pain. Well, some of my toddler cousins were diagnosed with UTI as well but despite of this their parents still keep feeding them junk foods and unhealthy foods like what happened today,  I told my youngest toddler cousin that her stomach will get bloated if she keep eating the chips but she never listened and almost cried when I took the chips she is eating, I have no choice but to returned it because I don’t want to create misunderstanding with my cousin for interfering.

To identify a UTI, keep an eye out for the following symptoms:

• A burning feeling when you urinate
• A frequent or intense urge to urinate, even though little comes out when you do
• Pain or pressure in your back or lower abdomen
• Cloudy, dark, bloody, or strange-smelling urine
• Feeling tired or shaky
• Fever or chills (a sign the infection may have reached your kidneys)

It was been a long time since I post has an update over here, I guess I have to published backdated post for Sundays I have missed to create a blog. I have been busy during the day with household chores and looking after my mother so I was already quite tired in the evening.  I did laundry yesterday and they are quite a lot that we are able to eat dinner past bed time, our neighbors were already asleep eh. They’re hand wash so it took me long time to finish washing the clothes.

[Photo courtesy of kaboompics.com/pexels.com]

Not feeling well today, I took three vitamin C in one day to relieved the discomfort I am feeling. I hope I feel better tomorrow, I have already research ways to home treat kidney stones and hopefully I can gather all the necessary condiments, my cousin has been confined to the hospital for this and he spend plenty for it and for his a month medication so I was scared on adding more expenses to my family after my mother has been hospitalized . My mother told me to go with her on her upcoming laboratory test and check-up but thinking of the expenses I have just said I am already feeling well.

We went to pharmacy today to buy my mother’s maintenance medicine,  my sister lost the prescription it is either she left it in the pharmacy a week ago or it slip on her bag, we have asked the pharmacist if they have found a prescription, she doesn’t know since she was not the in pharmacy on duty that day.  Good thing we are able to buy medicine without it, we just show sample of the medicine.

Today, my sister accompanied our father to the hospital where my mother has been confined so he could have a check-up I can’t because I have to look after our mother at home, his been complaining about his ears for almost a month already. The hospital has a specialized ENT doctor and the doctor’s finding – my father’s ears were too dry, maybe because he overdo the cleaning. He clean his ears every day and every time it itches, I have decided to have my father’s check up since he I have heard him a few weeks ago complaining that there is something ringing in his ears and then these past few days he can’t hear well that I have to repeat anything so we could understand each other.

[Photo courtesy of earnoseandthroat.wordpress.com]

My father doesn’t want to go to the hospital because he is thinking about the doctor’s fee since we are financially down at this moment but I have told him he should go right now while it isn’t so serious yet and asked him that when is he going when he is totally deaf already or in need of operation. I also reasoned out that we are going to save more if he went immediately than later, I handed extra money to my sister so he could also bring my father to an optometrist since he is almost blind without the $1 reading glass from the street but when they went home they were not able to get a pair of glasses for him.

My sister had told me that after doctor’s fee our father has almost a thousand of pesos medicine prescription for a week for his ears and a follow-up check-up after a week so the ENT doctor could see if something improved on his ears after the medication. They didn’t buy the prescription yet, they went to the optometrist  and they found that it cost a thousand of pesos too. My sister went home to ask if what to do so I have told her to buy the prescription first and we will just get pair of glasses for our father when we already have funds for it. It was the right decision isn’t it?

My mother was released from the hospital on Wednesday afternoon, I was at home preparing to return in the hospital in the morning when I received a text message from my sister that my mother was already given a permission that she can go home already, so I have to prepare money so they could checked-out. My father fetched me at home, he went back ahead of me in the hospital because my mother has to pee and she need to be assisted to the public toilet, my sister can’t carry my mother alone that’s why it needs two people to bring her out. It was been our routine for over a week already when we are at home and my mother’s need a toilet break my father has to return to the hospital.

We have no health insurance, we are not given free health insurance from our barangay because I guess they thought we are rich. For over a week my mother being confined in the hospital she is stressing herself with the hospital bills and our due dates in direct selling group in town, we have told her that it won’t help her thinking too much all she has to do is to get well so the hospital bill will not soared too high, our relatives were being problematic too that we are staying longer in the hospital, I think they pity us, they’re thinking of our hospital bills because they believed every time the nurse were called or went to the patient room there will be payment, my father became distressed because I guess he doesn’t know in who’s hands he’ll get the money for my mother’s hospital bill, my parents has no savings since my father’s wages is just enough for our daily living.

[Photo courtesy of Pixabay/pexels.com]

The good thing I have money, which is supposed to be our tuition fee (my sister and I are planning to take up education unit this school year but I guess it wasn’t for us) and then I received some payments from people who has due dates from the things they loaned from direct selling so your guess is right as mine I didn’t pay in the direct selling group in town right away since my mother’s medicine comes first but of course I have informed them what we are going through and why we are going to be late in paying, we are willing to pay penalties anyway.  The church and other relatives extended financial help, my grandmother and older aunt also handed us some rice grains, I may say it was an unexpected blessings that we are thankful, honestly I have already thought setting up a fundraising profile online if my mother stays in the hospital longer and our hospital bill soared very high.

It was true that you will only knew your real friends in times like this and I may say I have a lot of superficial friends, I guess they were scared that I’ll borrow money from them or asked some help.  I knew the fact that most of them were talking behind my back, asking what had happened on me and in my personal life.

God is gracious, He prepared and supported us financially because I also received several tasks on my few blogs before and after my mother was hospitalized that help us a lot so we are able to pay our hospital dues and take my mother home, the doctor prescribed sets of medicines and required a follow check-up in two weeks.

A new doctor check-up on my mother since today, her second doctor was in Manila and I guess the first one wasn’t around or been busy with other patients. According to the new doctor my mother’s sugar level and uric acid wasn’t too high, his finding my mother maybe had a stroke because of cholesterol, he said that even a person has a lower cholesterol level it can cause a stroke. Her medicine were changed  to tablets already unlike before they were thru IV,  one of her medicine were lowered on dosage.

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We are told that my mother might be discharged tomorrow, my mother requested the sales clerk in the hospital pharmacy to have a partial account of our hospital bill, she was from our barangay so we knew her. The partial amount was quite high, it was almost three months of my father’s monthly wages as a carpenter (his rate is ₱2,100 per week) and we have already spend almost two months of my father’s wages in medicines and other expenses so the bill was like a fortune for us, quite sad too we have no health insurance.

My mother can now sit without being felt dizzy unlike the last few days that she can’t even raise her head although her affected body has still no sensation but she can move her hands and feet already.  She’s recovering quickly isn’t it?

My head is spinning, maybe because lack of sleep, fatigue and not eating on time.  Everyday the doctor handed a new prescription and everyday the prescription bill cost more than a thousand of pesos, my mother’s first laboratory test cost a lot as well and then there are other succeeding test that isn’t free at all. My mother was recovering, she is doing better than her first two days in the hospital that she looks like in a vegetative state. Every day something is improving, she’s able to move her paralyzed body but there isn’t a sensation yet. At first I have thought there was but I guess my mother is confused and high with different medicines injected to her, she became short tempered, emotionally down and stressed with anything, the house, the hospital bills and money no matter how we told her to relax.

On the first few days my mother doesn’t eat anything nor drink, the doctor says it was fine since there is nutrients coming from the drip in her hand. The laboratory tests shows she has high level of sugar, high uric acid and UTI problem that resulted her stroke attack and with this a lot of food was prohibited for her to eat, mainly the food she enjoy so much.

It was hard for us to see her in bed lying and can’t do anything that even a little move required an assistance, my mother was put in a cathether when she can’t pee in the adult diaper, she can pee in the toilet but the problem the public toilet is a little bit far from the room since the room we rented has no private toilet room. The doctor ordered that my mother needs a complete bed rest since when she insisted to go the public toilet of the hospital in a wheelchair she went very tired and exhausted. The doctor says going to the toilet won’t help her recover faster since it is draining her energy.

As day goes by, she is able to drink a little as 20 ml of water.  It was hard at first because she can’t drink or swallow well, we massage her paralyzed body the best we can. She complaint of pain which she can’t point where, it was also difficult for her to sleep especially the first day where she doesn’t want to sleep scared of not waking up anymore.

Medicines are expensive the good thing a few relatives and the church extended financial help to us, we are not expecting it but we are thankful because it helps a lot to us, my father wasn’t able to work and my sister too while my mother is confined in the hospital.

It was normal Tuesday morning, I was starting my day surfing the internet looking for some opportunity to earn online when suddenly I head a loud bang in our bathroom, I already knew what happened so I stand immediately before I can hear my mother calling out my name. As expected I found her in the bathroom floor, I immediately took some ice pack to mend her head that was hurt since I was told she hit the wall and then the rest was quick like a lightning bolt after I asked someone who’s buying ice pack to call for help, people came in panic and carry my mother who is already tongue twisted. I don’t know if I should go with them in the hospital or just stay home, I consciously handed the motorcycle key to Pastor E and asked him to let my sister knew what happened to our mother but he waited for me while I am collecting things to bring in the hospital like blankets since pillows were already taken by my older cousin.

I’ve found my mother in an emergency room of a private hospital, she was rushed over there since it was the nearest hospital from our barangay, she is lying in the stretcher being check-up by nurses and a doctor. I was asked several questions like her medical history and etc., It was the first time my mother was brought in the hospital, she was never confined for any reason and never had health tests.  I was asked to sign a paper for admission after the nurses asked my age. I would like to wait for my father but I was told it was needed to be sign right away so my mother will be admitted in the hospital and will be given care.

My sister was already in the hospital since the water station where she is working was just nearby after a cousin in-law notify her, Pastor E and my sister went to my father’s workplace after calling his contractor where he is working that day. My father didn’t immediately went to the hospital I don’t know if it is because of shock because when he left the house my mother’s still doing fine.

My aunt’s and a cousin was in the hospital with us, the hospital asked what room we want to rent, I was given a choice an air conditioner room or a room with just a fan with other patients, I choose the latter since we can’t afford the higher room, well even their cheapest room cost a lot as well, I have heard later that there are also suite room upstairs. My mother was brought in the room, it was hot, no toilet room and very simple then I was given a prescription and the price is shocking for a penniless like me and then I was asked to buy adult diapers since my mother was like in a vegetative state and then another shocking prescription to buy at another pharmacy, good thing Pastor E drove me around.

Then the next day, we are asked if we want the hospital to refer an internal doctor. I have asked first how much does it cost , if it cost a lot we can’t afford it since we have no land to sell anymore and we have no health insurance. I didn’t get a direct reply but I have agreed for the referral since my mother’s health comes first.