Whirlwind of Emotions: Dream, Death, Regrets and Moving On

Where does the time go? It was been almost three weeks since my last update over here, a lot of things had happened. They were just like dreams to me, it was a whirlwind of emotions. I wanted to cry, but there was no tears falling from my eyes, I wanted to laugh, but then guilt is eating me up.

Days before my grandma rushed to the hospital, my mother dreamed of her and my dead grandpa, she was asked to go home to Tarlac and a cousin wants to tag with her. It never occurred to us, what was the meaning of it, our grandma was doing fine when my family called, but then one fine day, we are told my grandma was rushed to the hospital and we are told by my aunts to go home to Tarlac immediately, because my grandma is gravely ill, we thought they were just kidding because we can still talk to her on the phone, her speech didn’t slur after her stroke. Even so, we immediately packed our bags and leave, because we are worried that no one will look after her in the hospital since my aunts weren’t able to do so.

Arriving in Tarlac, we wondered why she was released from the hospital three days after she was rushed when she can’t move a muscle yet from her paralyzed body, my aunts didn’t say anything. Seeing her CT scan, she was indeed serious, but you can’t see it through her, she ate and drink a lot, so I became comfortable that we still have long days to be together.

God has different plans, grandma died, a few days since she was released from the hospital. I have thought I can look after her for a very long time, . If I only knew, she will be gone soon I have been more lenient to the things she has asked, like wearing the shorts she bought for me, she had told me many times to wear it, but I keep saying I will wear it in another time, I should just wear it even it is too tight and small just to see her happy. She wanted cold water, but I told her not to, she wanted to take a medicine she was taking before her stroke, but I declined her request no matter how she whimpers, because I was just scared she will get sick even more if she took a medicine that was not prescribed to her. She wanted to drink cold sprite, but I didn’t give it to her right away, she has been asking for coffee, but I never give it to her not until the early morning before she died. I never had a chance to have a photo with her while she was in bed and alive, because I thought she can survive and we can live together normally.  If I only knew, I could be more compassionate towards her and didn’t even told her a joke that I am leaving her alone because she was too loud, I wish I have shown more love and kiss her often, I wish I have made her remaining life happier than disappointed for not following her last request of affection.

A friend had told me, maybe my grandma just waited to see us. Indeed, regrets are very painful, I am not able to forgive myself, but my grandma was very understanding like she was when she was still alive, the night of her first wake, a frog came out of nowhere and climb in the window just to jump below and vanish right before my eyes. I have to find the meaning and symbolism of the frog online and reading it, make me feel better, another frog came right before my eyes on her third wake when I am feeling down, didn’t see it go in, but I saw her going out below, just right in the corner of her coffin.  It was like my grandma was talking to me, to free myself from guilt and be happy.

Guess what? A few days after my grandma was released to the hospital, she told us that the family who live in our backyard, berated her after she told them that what they did is wrong, extending their house and getting more land from us and she was heated up with the conversation that maybe trigger her stroke.

My mother’s dream came to light after my grandma’s stroke attack and knowing that my cousin’s uncle died too, that her father have to travel to neighboring province as well to attend the funeral and burial. It was like a precognitive dream…

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Care Giving Stress and Unwanted Toxic Feeling

Many people are so busy with their day to day activities that they couldn’t take care of their older loved ones, and with these caregivers fill these gaps. It was only lately, I realized how hard is care giving job, since I arrived in Tarlac, I have no proper meal for a few days and no proper sleep until today. Whereas, my sister keeps teasing me that I will lose weight in no time.

My grandmother is like a little baby, asleep during the day and in full battery during the evening, she won’t let me sleep, she keeps whimpering and waking me up all night until early morning.  It stresses and depresses me out, I became too sensitive, emotionally dependent and it is becoming toxic feeling that I have to let go of everything with my online/blogging friends, the friendship, the laughter and the connections.

Yes, I decided to let go of my online world. I have realized it wasn’t becoming healthy, I am being emotionally dependent and I am forgetting my real world, I am forgetting I have to live outside and not in the internet, where everything is superficial and mostly fake according to a friend.

Update:

I wasn’t able to let go of my online world, so here am I blogging again and writing into  my hearts content.

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Sinigang na Tilapia in Real Tamarind Soup

Cooking is one of the things I enjoyed the most, I cooked with passion that I can’t leave the food I am cooking even for a few minutes in my mother’s irritation. LMAO

Anyway, I have been cooking for a few days already, and it was only today I decided to share what I have cooked. Contrary to what is normal, where sinigang is usually a pork, I have cooked Sinigang na Tilapia in real raw tamarind fruit today.

Sinigang is a Filipino soup or stew characterized by its sour and savory taste most often associated with tamarind. It is one of the more popular viands in Filipino cuisine, and is related to the Malaysian dish singgang. Wikipedia

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Dealing with Leaving My Pets Behind

It was yesterday, when my sister complained that it was hard for her to bath my dog. It turns out Jae Hwan doesn’t want to be bathed and today, she messages again that my dog isn’t eating. With this, I told her to call me in IMO when she came home from work late afternoon and let Jae Hwan see me, and let me see Whitey (my cat) too.

When, I was told that my dog doesn’t want to eat. I feel anxious because the first time I move out the house and went to Korea, all my cats died like they have missed me.  I have read somewhere that pets feel sad and depressed when they can’t see their human anymore, they grieved silently. I made sure when I left Odiongan a few days ago to informed Whitey that I will leave, but will be returning to them, while didn’t really tell Jae Hwan where am I going, I just told her to stay.

As told, my sister called early in the evening with Jae Hwan in tow. She moves a lot whenever I called out her name and keeps hiding in my sister’s back, don’t know what my dog is thinking.  Is she hated me or she just don’t want to see me because I didn’t tell her where am I going or if I am returning home. Meanwhile, Whitey, is more obedient, when you called her name she will keep looking at me with her two big eyes.

My guilt of leaving my pets behind is eating me up, my grandmother has two cats, but they are not the same pets I have at home, when I saw Jae Hwan and Whitey I have the thought of wanting to go home.

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My New World On My 32nd Birthday

Today, will be my fourth day in Tarlac.  A lot of things have changed in these four days, I think I have lived a good life way back in Odiongan, where all I have to do is clean, washed my own clothes, water the orchids and look after my pets.

Right now, I have to do many things, I have to clean, cooked, washed, fetch water in a deep well, look after my grandma and etc. I can’t even enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning today, nor have a good night’s sleep, the moment I woke up, I have to keep moving until lunch, rested a bit and prepare for dinner. I am not complaining, I am just overwhelmed hence it returns me to the old days, when my younger sister is too young to do anything at home.

Guess what? I have wished before to live alone but not in this way, I literally went out of my comfort zone on my 32nd birthday, if before I just stayed home and not be bothered with other people. Today, I have to smile, talk and asked for help when needed. Yes, I can’t be a snob anymore and just look around, I have to be outgoing and learn how to mingle with other people, I can’t just be silent anymore and hide all the time.

My 32nd birthday brought a lot of changes into my life.  What is ironic, into my 32nd birthday, I have returned to the hospital where I was born. They said when you are returning from where you started, it means your life is nearing to the end.

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Sharing the Gospel as Volunteer Teacher for Operation Christmas Child

It was early this year when I volunteered to be a teacher for Operation Christmas Child, we had a training around March and it was around last week of September when we started sharing the gospel with young kids after they received the shoe boxes from Samaritan’s Purse.

One hundred kids were blessed,  but just how Jesus cleansed the ten lepers where only one Samaritan returned to give thanks  (Luke 17:11-19), only a few kids aging 7 years old up, returned to learn the gospel.  It was disappointing, it made you think if what is happening, do Filipinos were really this ungrateful?

Oh well, who I am to judge. Maybe they are also thankful, but not thankful enough to attend a few hours of bible lessons, maybe they are just too busy at home, maybe they just can’t go for personal reasons or maybe they thought they would not be able to learn from me, but classes were divided into three zones, and there are also only a few kids who attended the bible classes in the two other zones.

Anyway,  this is my first time teaching kids and I was a bit anxious what approached should I use, should I be strict or friendly?  When you started teaching young kids, I realized your teaching technique naturally flows, your compassion and patience takes place.

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Life is Unpredictable and You Never Know What is Coming

Life is unpredictable, you could be alive today and dead tomorrow. Yes, we don’t know what will happen the next morning, we could just wake up and feel dizzy and it is the end, or we could just prepare ourselves to sleep and we felt too tired and exhausted, and the little we know our blood pressure is dropping down, we might make it to the hospital, but things will never be the same anymore, we can’t move nor we can’t see, we maybe have the will to get up and live but our body is too tired and immovable, we are slowly dying without knowing it ahead of time.

Image result for life is unpredictable

A few years ago, I have said that most people weren’t given a second chance to live or to grow up, but I realized we might have given the second chance but it was too late for us to realize that the second chance was already given to us and we just lost it forever for being unobservant.

It was five weeks ago when an Uncle died of heart attacked and now two of my relatives passed away in a week, a day apart, an uncle (Sept. 13) and grand aunt (Sept. 14). I was shocked upon hearing the sad news, I never thought it was that bad, I thought both of them will recover and live their life like they used to be, but God has different plans for them.

What is weird a few days or a week before the sad news happened. I have always seen black butterflies flying around everyday and two days before an uncle died, I saw a white medium size duck in our roof top early in the morning which is looking religiously at the church. I have thought of the duck as an angel because his feathers are so white and clean. It was weird to see a duck that early morning, I didn’t hear it came and I didn’t hear it flew away when it left. When I look around our neighbors duck, I didn’t find this particular duck, most of the ducks around where bigger and have dirty feathers.

What is more weird when I took a photo of a red rose in my grandmother’s backyard garden, an uncle died and when I took a photo of pink rose I saw in town, a grandaunt (my grandfather’s sister) died. I don’t know if it was only a coincidence, or is it a creation of my weird self or there is something more in it.

Update (3:50 PM).

When I went out this morning to walk my dog, I have seen another black butterfly flying around the trees and flowers, I have seen it many times lurking around my grandmother’s backyard. I felt a bit scared, but didn’t take it too seriously, but I just heard right now from my relatives who were talking outside that another grandaunt (my grandmother’s sister) passed away today (Sept. 17), the mother of an Uncle who died from a heart attacked five weeks ago.

Our Dull and Plain Boodle Fight Platter at D’ Curve Foodhouse

It was only a week ago when my friends and I had dinner at the newly opened restaurant in town called D’ Line Kitchen, and we have decided to see each other again at lunch at another newly opened restaurant called D’ Curve Foodhouse which is boasting their boodle fight platter menu.

D’ Curve Foodhouse was opened on August 08, it is located at Brgy. Poctoy, just a few meters away from the bridge of Torrel-Dapawan, the restaurant used to be an abandoned white house along the curb.

Most of us were late at our agreed time of 10 o’clock in the morning because of the pouring rain, the moment you go inside their very courteous server will greet you. Unlike D’ Line Kitchen which is very bold and plain, D’ Curve  Foodhouse has a very impressive look inside, from the curtains, wallpapers, furniture’s and etc.,

We’ve met because one of our highschool classmate who was stationed in Odiongan would like to see us all, I guess he envy our dinner meeting a week ago.  We’ve ordered their Municipyo platter of D’ Curve’s  Fiesta, which cost ₱1,749, the menu consists of Sweet and Chilli Crabs, Garlic Shrimps, Crispy Liempo, Grilled Fish, Chicken Inasal, Chicken Adobo sa Gata, Pork Sisig, Laing, Steamed Rice with Crispy Danggit.

The food was served within thirty minutes or more, but we didn’t notice the waiting time because we’re too busy talking as if we didn’t see each other a week ago. We are all in awe when the boodle fight platter was served, we couldn’t just believed what we saw. One of my friends blurted out, that maybe next time we should just buy and prepare our own food, seconded by many.

The boodle fight platter was very dull and simple, it wasn’t that attractive at all, it was like the food we’ve ordered were just toppled all together in a banana leaf, what I mean there was no design, nor effort in preparing the boodle fight platter, they could at least add onions, chili pepper, cucumber, tomatoes or calamansi or whatever the cheapest greens or vegetable/fruit in the market they could get to make the platter attractive or appetizing to eat.

Chicken Adobo sa Gata

Their Pork Sisig has a dull taste, it is given because they are not Ghetto Plates

We’ve almost finished our food when the male server came, saying they forgot to add the garlic shrimps, one of my friend took it and pour them down on our food,  we didn’t mind the shrimps being served late because at least they remember, right?

The shrimps that were forgotten to be included in the boodle fight platter

It also says in their menu that there will be crispy danggit in the platter, but we are surprised to see fried tuyo (dried fish) instead, I know it is a common courtesy to inform your customer first before changing something in their order but they have failed on this, but since it danggit wasn’t the main dish it wasn’t an issue, we ate our food without realizing something was missing, we’ve been busy talking and laughing together.

Well, the food was ok, the liempo for me is just a bit salty, but it is tolerable, the chilli crabs were just fine as well as the other viand and the Chicken Inasal… is tasteless because they didn’t serve or add chicken inasal in our platter, yes you read it right! D’ Curve forgot to serve the Chicken Inasal when it is included in the food we have ordered.

It was late when I or we realized that we are robbed of Chicken Inasal, if I haven’t look at my photos again I will not noticed it, to be sure if I was not mistaken, that maybe the chicken inasal was served in a different platter and I wasn’t able to take a photo of it, I have asked my friends and they confirmed they didn’t serve chicken inasal to us.

We stayed a little bit after eating our lunch because we are waiting for another friend who is coming from afar, she was late because it is hard to travel to town when raining.  When she arrived, we moved to another location to get  a coffee.

D’ Curve Foodhouse looks promising they just failed in completing our orders when it wasn’t that busy when we had our  lunch, we are the only people who were there, new people only arrive when our food was already served. One of my friend says, we should just let it passed because they were a new restaurant but when you heard a different story from a friend that they were served a different food from what they have ordered is another juicy story.

Well, I think it is better if their restaurant wasn’t house in a house, I mean it is more appropriate or it will be a hit if their restaurant was built in a native hut, have native displays and furniture, like Laszaji Grill since their serving food in a native or traditional Filipino way.

D’ CURVE FOODHOUSE 
Poctoy, Odiongan, before Varadero Beach Resort, Yellow House
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/D-Curve-Food-House-293289191423907/
Open @ 10 A.M to 9. P. M DAILY

Disclosure: This is NOT a sponsored post. Above written post was my OWN personal experience and might be different from yours.

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D’ Line Kitchen: A Newly Opened Restaurant in Odiongan

Almost over a year since we last met, my friends and I decided to see each other again for  dinner to a newly opened restaurant called D’ Line Kitchen in town. One of our friends came home from abroad and the other celebrated her birthday a few days ago, we have agreed to meet at 4 o’clock in the afternoon and as expected, we are very loud and glad to see each other again, as if we rented the whole place for us.

We’ve ordered while waiting for the others, when I arrived there were three of our friends already waiting.  G and I arrived at the same time, so we have ordered the same time.  The food was served together as we requested, I wasn’t able to track down the time how long they were served because we are all busy chit chatting.

Oriental Seafood Pasta for ₱180

D’ Line Kitchen was opened on August 3, it was located at D’ Fourth building which used to be a disco bar, the place was spacious and best for a large group to dine in. The place was very simple and not much to admire except the gothic combination of dark tables and white tiled floor as well as the look of their modern reception bar/kitchen.

Shrimp Dynamite for ₱195

The food was expensive compare to other restaurants in town, especially they only come in small servings, yes the food is only good for one and maybe two if you are a small eater.  For me their food is lacking of something, some were a bit oily and salty, especially their garlic rice, which is burnt (maybe because they’ve used oyster sauce as two of my friends claimed) and way too salty, you can still taste the salt in it.  It was garlic rice, but I can’t find a stronger taste of garlic in it, honestly my sister’s garlic rice is way better than this.  It was expensive when it was only good for two people or one if you are a bit hungry.

Garlic Rice ₱150

What wowed me is their Tomato Basil Pasta with breaded Chicken, it catches my taste bud but it is quite expensive for ₱200, I need more pasta than the chicken.

Tomato Basil Pasta with breaded Chicken ₱200

What I have ordered is pancit canton since most of my friends ordered pasta and we both agreed to order a different type of food so we can share each food. The pancit canton was served in a small fan, it was a bit oily and salty. I don’t know if they used too much soy sauce, or the dried noodles is salty or is it the kikiam making the noodles salty? The pancit canton has not much vegetables in it, well given that it has a lot of kikiam toppings I don’t think I should complain about it.

Pancit Canton for ₱150

The restaurant was on their second day when we came in but it wasn’t that busy as expected for a newly opened restaurant, I wonder if we are just way too early or maybe it wasn’t advertised properly. It was over six in the evening when we left and there was only one family who came to eat.

Creamy Mussels for ₱180

Mango Cilantro Chicken for ₱150

We’ve been talking about the food when suddenly the man sitting nearby our table came in and asked about the food, he introduces his self as the restaurant chef and did a handshake with a friend. My friends answered that the food was okay, but if he will ask me, I will definitely say “can you add more pasta in my plate?”, anyway, I voiced out my opinion that their garlic rice is salty  (lol).

Chicken Fingers for ₱150

Salmon Belly Fish and Chips for ₱150

The dessert below were two pieces Bollycao for ₱100,  Bollycao is the Spanish version of French croissants, and the frozen cheesecake for ₱180 each.

The restaurant is a bit expensive for a normal Odionganon, especially the food came in small servings, but their food is a must try if you are already tired of eating braised or fried chicken, their servers were kind and helpful. The restaurants need more improvements to make it look classy, I think it will be nice if they don’t leave the walls empty.

Classic Carbonara for ₱150

If you want to try  Spanish and Italian food visit them at:

D’ LINE Kitchen 
D’ Fourth Building, Cocoville-Dapawan, Odiongan, Romblon
OPENING HOURS: 11:00 AM – 9:00 PM

Disclosure: This is NOT a sponsored post. Above written post was my OWN personal experience and might be different from yours.

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Family Dinner at Patok sa Bagto in Looc, Romblon

We had a family dinner at one of the popular restaurants in the municipality of Looc last night. We have been planning to visit Patok Sa Bagto for a long time, but we just can’t find time to visit it since it was a bit far.  We arrived at the restaurant after almost an hour of traveling from Odiongan.

When we arrived, I immediately informed the server that we need table for five persons and I was corrected by my mother that we are six (haha).  We are given the hut #5, we are not fully seated yet and we are already given the menu that’s how great the servers were. 🙂

Small pot of rice for ₱80 each

Looking at their menu, it was indeed true that their food is expensive as many of my friends claimed.  We have ordered a few and within less than 15 minutes they started serving our food, their food came in small servings and yes it is a bit expensive compare to the food you can order at Bantigue Resort.

Calamares for ₱180

The restaurant was uniquely built in a fish pond with bamboo walkways connecting to separate huts where customers can sit and eat privately with their friends and family.

Pork Loin for ₱200

Olio Pescatora with garlic bread for ₱180 (but didn’t find any garlic bread in my plate)

The Olio Pescatora I have ordered comes with garlic bread but I didn’t receive any, I wasn’t able  to take notice of it because I was too busy tinkering my phone, looking for the self-timer upront. I have only realized it when we came home and I have looked through my photos, including the photo of their menu.

Buttered Vegetables for ₱220

Beef Bulalo (Regular) for ₱280

My mother loves their calamares so she ordered another servings of it, she reasoned out it was good for the beer that my father and  cousins were drinking.

Calamares for ₱180

Fruit Salad for ₱38 each

Well, I guess it is best to eat at Patok sa Bagto during lunch to appreciate and enjoy the pond because you can’t see anything good at night around the restaurant other than the well lit huts at night.

The food in Patok sa Bagto is okay but I love the taste of the  food at Bantigue Resort, it is more savory for me.

PATOK SA BAGTO 
Guinhayaan, Looc 5507 Romblon
OPENING HOURS: Always Open

Disclosure: This is NOT a sponsored post. Above written post was my OWN personal experience and might be different from yours.

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